Diablo III - garbage.

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But how can it be crap, you might ask? How can Diablo, our hope and support, be crap? Especially from those very Blizzards! Well, first of all, not from those very ones, secondly, Diablo was not made by Blizz, and thirdly, the third part mainly differs from the first by transitioning into the third dimension. It's the game designers' right not to fix what isn't broken, and my right to call a already chewed product crap.

Musical pause, Deckard Cain reads a clear rap. Mighty grandpa.

Originally, Diablo was not made by Blizzard at all. A certain studio called Condor was making it, which initially... planned a turn-based RPG with clay animation. A kind of Neverhood meеt Hellraiser. Fortunately, the studio was bought by Blizzard, and they turned this cute mess into what we know today. Condor was renamed Blizzard North.

Bow before the greatness of darkness!

It was Blizzard's northern division that created the entire Diablo franchise. Since the harsh northern programmers stood out even against the backdrop of the studio known for its slowness with their indifference Olympic calmness, in 2005 the division was disbanded. Some went on to establish their own studio, (yes-yes-yes, with a b.d.j. and sh.), part went off to seek their fortune. But then Blizzard (or Blizzard North) itself was acquired by Activision, albeit retaining a significant part of its autonomy.

While silly gaijins cannot wait for the third part, crafty narrow-eyed folks have long been playing the fifth. Yellow Power!!!

But maybe I'm being unfairly biased against this... product? After all, everyone knows that games are made not by people, but by brands, and famous studios simply cannot physically produce mass-market products! So, what would I like to see in [Diablo III](/games?search=Diablo III).

  1. Free exploration of the world. They are trying to feed us again a chain of locations strung together. Why? Just why? Why can't I spit on old man (old woman?) Diablo and go level up in the barbarian lands by fighting ice giants? NO GEEK GO KILL DIABLO DIABLO WON'T KILL HIMSELF.

  2. An advanced alchemy and crafting system. So that, you know, you go down somewhere in a dungeon and find a half-rotted recipe, and the flower from which the ingredients are brewed blooms far to the south, in the stinking jungles of Kurast. Or let's say, you find out that far, far to the north there are still dwarf settlements that mine the rarest minerals from the deepest mines, now seized by demons, and forge mighty shields and axes from them. NO FARM ANOTHER TEN MILLION GOLD AND LEVEL ME UP LEVEL ME UP COMPLETELY LAZY COWARD.

  3. Random events. Not the nonsense they showed us in the demo, but let's say, escorting a caravan. Or visiting a village near which suddenly appeared an awakened graveyard. Or let’s say, a hero stops at a huge mansion, which turns out to be a lich's lair, and he can only be defeated by smashing the phylactery. Of course, instead of this, we will be smashing soul jars. By the hundreds.

  4. Urban locations. I want a big ruined city. Beautiful. With huge epic towers, crumbling walls, jumping from roof to roof, and hundreds of little demons bustling in the basements. Perhaps this will happen, but most likely we will again be fed local world capital, Tristram, the size of a lumberjack's settlement.

And what did I get? OOOooo... You won't believe it. Take a breath... Ready?

Here's a cosplayer for you. Perhaps even a lesbian.

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