The Elder Strolls, Part 10: "The Pale Horse"

\[post\]The Elder Strolls, Part 1: "Just Off the Boat"\[/post\]

[post]The Elder Strolls, Part 2: "This Fleeting Feeling"[/post]

[post]The Elder Strolls, Part 3: "Into the Storm"[/post]

[post]The Elder Strolls, Part 4: "Nordrik the Envious"[/post]

[post]The Elder Strolls, Part 5: "Spring Break"[/post]

[post]The Elder Strolls, Part 6: "One Stands for a Whole Pack"[/post]

[post]The Elder Strolls, Part 7: "The Homeless Romantic"[/post]

[post]The Elder Strolls, Part 8: "The Mammoth Solution"[/post]

[post]The Elder Strolls, Part 9: "Marriage and Darkness"[/post]

After weeks of snail-paced walks through Skyrim, I suddenly felt a burning desire to rush forward. My wedding was over, and I passionately wanted to escape from Riften and start a new life in Whiterun. I want to finally move into my new home, find a place for my belongings, and return to the quiet life of a smith and hunter. Oh, and perhaps find my wife, who left me right in the middle of the wedding ceremony and hasn't been seen since.

So I hurry. Hiring a cart seems like cheating, so I decide to just buy a horse from the Riften stables – and there I am, galloping down the road, with Jasper trailing behind. It's strange and unusual to travel at such speed, especially since I zip past all those flowers, herbs, and other pesky weeds. I should have gathered them. I… must gather them. It bothers me that I'm just galloping past them. But, as I said, this time I'm in a hurry.

Besides accelerated travel, the horse I bought has another service to offer me: it desperately wants to kill anyone who threatens me. When I dismounted upon seeing a pack of wolves, they, along with Jasper, rushed ahead of me, knocking and biting the poor creatures even before I could join in. A bit later, we run into bandits, and once again, I'm late to the party, forced to catch up with my loyal pets.

It's so bandit-like – to come out with a bow to fight against a horse, a dog, and an axe-wielding robot.

But the bloodlust infecting my four-legged companions doesn't always work in our favor. Galloping past some fort, I notice that Jasper has stopped behind us. I turn back and see him sitting still, staring at the wall of the fort, from which some bandit is trying to shoot us with an arrow. I dismount, and the horse immediately joins Jasper. Now they are both forlornly watching the bandit, unable to reach him, like cats that have batted a toy mouse under the fridge.

I kill the bandit with a couple of shots, but the animals still sense other villains inside the fort and have no intention of leaving. Sighing, I climb up on a rock near the fort, jump onto the wall, and eliminate the remaining bandits myself. Is that it? Is everyone satisfied that I brutally killed the bad people? Can we go now?

A little later, I help my bloodthirsty friends deal with a novice fire mage who made the fatal mistake of standing nearby with a nasty look. Searching her body, I find a staff that allows me to summon a ghostly wolf to help me. Cool! Another barking creature will crush my enemies. If only I could teach any of them to pick and bring me flowers, I could retire in peace.

Jasper barks, the ghostly wolf howls. Such a doggy symphony.

After a few hours of riding, we cover a gigantic distance, and around noon, we stumble upon a familiar place: the bandit fort that Jasper and I know from our first journey to Whiterun. It consists of two towers on each side of the river and a stone bridge between them. When we were here last time, a local bandit demanded a toll from me, which I paid honestly before engaging in battle. As I approach, I notice that the fort is already populated with a new batch of bandits, but this time the bandit standing by the road does not ask me for gold. This time she just attacks straightforwardly.

The same fort, different people.

I dismount. And I can confidently say that this bandit is much cooler than the previous one. She twirls and attacks with two blades simultaneously, dealing several blows before I can even raise my shield. My health drops to nearly zero in seconds. With Jasper's help, I manage to kill her. Then I chug health potions from my inventory and try to get back on the horse and flee before her friends attack us.

But it's already too late. For some reason, my horse has fled down to the riverbank – maybe it saw some menacing mudcrab clicking its claws over there. Jasper has burst into the tower and engaged with the bandits, just like last time. Great, here we go again. I run after him and find him in the middle of the bridge, fighting two bandits alone.

I join him, attacking the bandits with my axe while arrows fly past us from the other side of the bridge (although not always that far past). One bandit falls, the second takes his place, and I wind up my axe to attack. And then…

I see what will happen next, but I can't stop it. Loyal Jasper leaps into the space between us. He is already wounded by an arrow in his side, but still bravely leaps at the bandit just as I bring my axe down. By a tragic accident, my axe hits both of them, and Jasper, the dog who never shut up, silently falls onto the cold stones. He is dead. My poor dog. The terrible epitaph "Search: Stray Dog" appears before my eyes – the game now sees him merely as another dead body for looting. Among other things, it reminds me that I never bothered to use the console command to rename him. I'm sorry, Jasper. You deserved better.

Now he barks endlessly at angels.

Well, wonderful. Just wonderful! At least I can take my revenge on that bandit by putting an extra hole in him. I take a step forward to attack, but at that moment my horse suddenly appears out of nowhere beside me. Somehow it made its way to the fort, climbed up the stairs, and now charges into battle. Wonderful! Unless you consider the fact that in its eagerness to trample the bandit to death, it flies past me, knocking me off the bridge with its massive backside. Yes, wonderful!

I REPEAT ONCE MORE, ALL OF THIS IS JUST WONDERFUL!

I fall. Is that it? Am I going to die now? I know that the bridge is over rocky banks much farther than just over the river. However, a second later I splash into the water, missing the rocks by a couple of feet. Stupid horse! Stupid bandits! Stupid everything in this world! This battle is going just horribly. I swim to the shore, burst back into the tower, climb to the top, and move toward the passage leading to the bridge. I intend to chop all those bandits to pieces. Reaching the passage, I stumble upon my horse coming straight toward me.

Or, more precisely, I stumble upon the flying corpse of my horse, which is slowly drifting through the passage into the tower and crashes against the wall. The reason becomes clear a couple of seconds later: a heavily armed bandit leader bursts into the tower, wielding a massive two-handed hammer that looks very capable of sending a horse flying.

Should I drag it back to Riften and demand my money back?

The bandit hits me once, then raises the hammer for another strike. I try to lift my shield, but that first blow must have stripped my stamina completely because nothing happens. I hit the button responsible for Battle Cry, but it's already too, too late. And again I see what will happen next, but I can't prevent it.

The bandit finishes the strike, and his hammer smashes into my chest. Clang. I fly along the room, along the floor, into the heavens.

I was hit so hard there will be no jokes here.

And here it is, the brutal and bloody end of Nordrik's careless strolls. Crushed by a blow to the chest and now lying next to his dead horse, still clad in the ceremonial armor forged specifically for the wedding, never having enjoyed all the benefits of marriage. Farewell, Jasper. Your idiotic barking annoyed me, but you were a great guy. Farewell, horse. I'm sorry I never managed to come up with a name or a character for you. And farewell, my wife, my dear Isolde. If I have a dying wish, it is this: I want you to be here with me now, dying a horrible death near my body because I am still bitter that you didn’t stick around until the end of the wedding ceremony.

Goodbye, Nordrik. I follow the rules I laid out in the first part of the narrative: no saves in case of death. You lived like an NPC, and you will die like an NPC: once and for all. And yet, your life, though short, was quite rich. You lived in the dangerous world of Skyrim for 52 days. You killed 37 people, 122 beasts, and 3 rabbits. You forged 92 pieces of armor, brewed 281 potions, and gathered just under 1000 plants. With a couple of simple quests aside, you managed to avoid quests, and except for dying at the hands of a large bandit leader, you escaped adventures.

All I can add is: DAMN. I can’t believe this happened! I was so close to giving Nordrik everything he wanted, and I genuinely hoped to wander around Skyrim a lot longer. And then – bam! – and all hopes crumbled.

Well, that’s death in Skyrim. It comes unexpectedly, it shocks, and often it happens from a heavy battle hammer swing in the hands of some jerk. Thanks for being with me.

*Well, that’s it, folks. The story of Nordrik's escapades ended sadly, but, after all, quite logically. Like Christopher, I want to thank everyone who read these translations. I tried for you, and I really hope that my efforts weren’t in vain :)*

*Original. *