Troll, trolling.

Here you are!

Yes-yes, YOU!

You probably thought that there would be another "letter to grandpa" here, but this time on the topic of trolls? You thought the author would complain about this internet phenomenon, shed tears on the page, and draw up bullet points about how trolls are bad?

Well, you are wrong. My aim was to write an interesting, mostly useless post that nevertheless "delivers".

Did I succeed? It's up to you, dear reader, to decide.

So, you are a participant in this project, this Role Playing Game with a capital letter. Whether you have achieved something important or not, whether you did so honestly or by "cheating," what you have between your legs, what you think—that is undoubtedly important, but we are talking about something else.

You have of course admired the great heroes of the site who have reached divine heights, despised the great villains who have reached those same heights, but thought "how the hell did he do that?!", participated in "holivars" on this topic, and merrily ran around like a sheep across the green expanses of this site, only to receive a "mute" and sadly go off to do homework or write that damn report. I can hear the embarrassed voices? How could you not have finished yet?! Come on, march to complete the quest "collect five pluses"!

The first pioneer’s hunt for pluses.

Hmm... Well, as always, I've strayed from the topic: we are indeed talking about trolls.

So, no matter what your achievements on the internet may be, you have probably encountered irrational people who spout nonsense and snap at every phrase... If you think about it, that is the portrait of a typical internet user, but no, someone has reached "sensei heights" in that regard.

Another "green" troll who has not achieved any rank.

The first trolls were sophists.

They appeared in Ancient Greece around the 4th century BC. If you search for information about them on the internet, you will find a description:

"teachers of wisdom and eloquence, who taught their art for money," end quote.

Actually, there is nothing to argue about, but in reality, we suspect what terrible trolls they were. They could convince you that you are garbage in 5 seconds, belittle any judgment, and simply make the interlocutor bang their head against the wall out of despair. It is scary to imagine how they would troll on the "Roman forums".

Incredible, but true: it worked back then.

Here are some "pearls" from the sophists:

That which you have not lost, you have.

You have not lost your horns.
Therefore, you are horned.
Sitting one stood up.
Who stood up is standing.
Therefore, the sitting one is standing.
This dog has pups, hence it is a father.
But this is your dog. Therefore, it is your father.
You beat it, which means you are beating your father and you are the brother of the puppies.
Chances are the more I drink vodka, the more my hands shake.
The more my hands shake, the more alcohol I spill.
The more I spill, the less I drink.

Therefore, to drink less, one must drink more.

And for good measure, a little story:

A certain Evatl studied under the ancient Greek sophist Protagoras. According to an agreement between them, Evatl was to pay for his education only if he won his first trial. In case he lost his first lawsuit, he was not obligated to pay at all.

However, upon finishing his studies, Evatl did not participate in any legal battles. As a result, he considered himself free from paying for his education. This went on for quite a while until Protagoras’s patience ran out, and he himself took Evatl to court. Thus, Evatl's first trial was to take place.
Protagoras presented the following argument: "No matter what the court's decision is, Evatl will have to pay. He will either win his first case or lose it. If he wins, he will pay according to the agreement; if he loses, he will pay according to the court's decision."

Evatl objected: "In neither case am I obligated to pay. If I win, then I am not obliged to pay according to the court's decision; if I lose, then according to the agreement."

No matter how terrible these sophists were, they actually laid the foundation for such a wonderful science: logic.

Whatever activity you engage in, whatever life you lead—you cannot do without reason. Logic is a necessary element of that minimum culture one must acquire to be regarded as rational.

That's how it is, friends—"smoke the manuals" and your path will be easy and simple))

Wikipedia states:
Trolling (from English trolling — shining, fishing with a lure) is the posting on the Internet (on forums, in Usenet newsgroups, in wiki projects, LiveJournal, etc.) of provocative messages with the aim of inciting flame wars, conflicts between participants, pointless chatter, insults, etc. A person engaging in trolling is called a troll, which coincides with the name of a mythical creature.

Thanks, Captain))

Luckmore:

The goal of a troll is to produce lulz for themselves and for visitors who have caught on, at the expense of the less savvy visitors who waste their time and energy fighting them.

Write that down and hang it in a frame. In my opinion, everything that needs to be known is succinctly formulated in that one short phrase. One could finish the article here, but hell no—this is just the beginning!

We can distinguish the following types of trolls:

* boor troll (trollis animalis).
* ordinary troll (trollis vulgaris), also often a fat troll.
* elite troll (trollis rex), also a thin troll.

Now let's go in order and with illustrations—I know that plain text won't interest you)))

1

Real boors are not that funny...

Flood, flame, and off-topic—this is the realm of the boor troll!

Almost everything these trolls do is dumb and unoriginal, so we won’t devote much space to them.

They can write a sea of text in such a short time that you can't even imagine! It's just a pity that the meaningful load of their "scribbles" approaches zero at a speed comparable to that of a rocket entering the atmosphere...

Schoolchildren and just a few people who are somewhat behind in their intellectual development are the main participants in this clan.

Their efforts are small, and the results are even smaller. When you read the "creative diarrhea" of this subspecies, you really want to pity them (and even more so, their parents). But the desire to permanently deny them access to the internet prevails. It's not hard to guess what the author of such works thinks of their own creativity.

You can also recognize this fellow by phrases like:
- What, are you scared to answer?
- Yeah, nobody wants to argue with me!
- Why are you all silent, you bastards?

Paladin of the Inquisition. Dedicated his life to battling trolls.

People, don’t fall for these banal tricks! You are certainly capable of "pampering" this scoundrel—I believe in you, but you will only clutter the forum, and this argument will bring you nothing useful or interesting. And you will be feeding the troll...

I suggest you click the image to see something at least.

2

The most ordinary mummy troll in the subway.

If a troll, however, has an IQ level higher than that of a stool, then over time he will advance to the next level and earn the status of an ordinary troll.

This troll is a more dangerous opponent. Stock up on mana elixirs for combat)) Additionally, the situation is complicated by the fact that trolls in this subgroup can attain the level of "cave people" and may form somewhat organized packs. That is, there is always a chance that a large group of trolls may surround a defenseless blog and, slowly entering through the main gate, begin to "mess on every street." Sometimes trolls may be invisible...

Don’t wrinkle your nose at their invisible crap—they only catch "lulz" from that.

Moreover, they (the fat trolls) can utilize various technical spells (DDoS attacks, for example). It seems we haven't had anything like that happen, and thank goodness....

The "flooding with a sword" tactic doesn’t always work—you should wait for the moment when the troll is full (then he slowly starts to turn into a boor troll) and deliver the decisive blow.

The troll has eaten and become dull, it is time to strike.

3

Elite trolls are so wonderful that I dare not depict them. So let this be it...

If you ask me what kind of beast an elite troll is, I will tell you in two words: they are magnificent...

This is such a rare phenomenon, but if you encounter ONE, you will only be able to look at it through sunglasses.

An elite troll should be able to "stain the reputation" of an opponent without using any foul language and, often, without even insulting the opponent. Exceptionally elite trolls can drive a person insane with just innocent questions. Don’t ask how.

At first glance, there may seem to be nothing special in the comments of an e.t., but soon you realize: the person actually knows what they are talking about and precisely chooses their arguments.

An elite troll does not waste their time on trifles: they need a target worthy of their "flight." A victim who knows the issue no less than they do. And you know... when you read such a debate, you can't help but wonder: can this masterpiece be called trolling?

4

Do so-called Absolute Trolls exist? I think not. Just think: how can a person exist who can troll anyone without making any effort at all, just by pointing a finger at them? If they do exist, they are already being studied somewhere in the Pentagon.

Well, perhaps right now you saw a description of your parents...

Just kidding, kidding, my parents are good. Parents should be listened to, or you'll grow up to be a boor troll))

Well, there you go. You've finally suffered through and managed to read this post to the end.

You probably didn’t learn anything new, but I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it)

If you want to learn more about this topic, here are the sources:

wikipedia and lurkmore I would like to point out right away that my material coincides with these sources by only about 5%)) I can proudly say that this post was written in the style of "sat down and wrote"—no preliminary preparations or topic analysis.

P.S. Almost all illustrations were drawn or somehow "touched up" by me. The author knows how to draw—he just used a "trashpaint" style.