The Workdays of a Gamer's Companion

A shadow flickered across the face of my beloved.

His gaze suddenly flashed, usually so gentle.

And the last thing I remember from that day –

A black disc of a cast-iron frying pan…

Contrary to popular belief that "twinks" created for Gamer rings will remain unutilized, I hasten to inform you that this does not apply to my case :)

Speaking of gamers, I often recall those people who dwell nearby. They typically swing from one extreme to another: from tragedy to comedy. In life, of course, everything is different. What is it like to be the partner of a gamer? ;)

Most often, we hear myths about gamers: poor eyesight, unkempt appearance, unathletic physique (skinny/fat), strange behavior (shy/aggressive), leading to one-sided communication, specific sense of humor, as well as uselessness in everyday life and boredom due to spending almost 100% of the time at the computer. If you imagine all this at once and believe it... Nightmare, who am I living with?!

Of course, there are individual exceptions. I will not discuss for the thousandth time the truthfulness of these stereotypes. I want to talk about how to build (not from the word "slouch") relationships with a boyfriend/husband if he is a gamer.

Girls often get stuck thinking about how to win over a charming gamer if he is in the game almost all the time :) There are plenty of ways.

1. Install his favorite game on your computer, play it, definitely "find" difficult moments, and turn to the gamer for help as an authority. This will develop a sense of self-importance in his eyes;

2. Talk to him using gaming slang. This will facilitate the understanding of your requests and encourage their fulfillment;

3. Be amazed at his large and powerful… system unit. This will awaken pride in him;

4. In the mornings, play the gamer’s favorite gaming soundtracks. There's a good chance he will start doing morning exercises to them. And who knows, he might even take up some sport;

5. Bake a cake/pie with an image of the logo of his favorite game. This will spark his interest in your culinary skills, and it won’t be hard to distract the gamer from the game for lunch/dinner;

6. Give the gamer a red crowbar on February 23rd. He will appreciate it;

7. On the gamer’s birthday, wake him up with chilled beer and sandwiches on a tray. This will inspire him to bring a bouquet of flowers and breakfast in bed the next morning;

8. And finally, register on gamer.ru. Your charming gamer will feel that he has a like-minded person nearby, with whom it’s not scary to go into a boss raid :)

There are also sad exceptions. So, you are in a passionate mood, in beautiful lingerie, and in a provocative pose. And the gamer is intensely grinding away at the game… And even blocking the monitor with your bare chest doesn't help because the bastard gamer still manages to play by feel…

Well, what can one do? I recommend finding another passion for your soul. Because ultimatums won’t work. If you ask: "Me or him (the computer)?", you will most likely receive an unflattering response :) Of course, you could suddenly turn off the computer or the electricity in the house. But the next day, an article about a furious gamer-man who brutally slaughtered his wife will be published in "Komsomolskaya Pravda". The same effect can be achieved by dramatically breaking (or secretly, but dramatically is still more effective) discs with games. I strongly advise against trying this. I haven’t done it, so I’m here with you :)

BUT! There are no hopeless situations! Make a knight's move – become a gamer girl yourself ;) And here begins the most interesting *demonic laughter*.

Now it's his turn to cook, wash the dishes, do the laundry, iron, take care of the pets, clean the apartment, and seek your favorable attention. The most important thing is that your beloved will have nothing to argue against this :) But this radical method might have a side effect – you both might become hungry nerds in a filthy apartment.

As you may have already understood, not everything is as bleak as it may seem at first glance. Girls, do not be afraid to fall in love with gamers! For they are talented people with an unconventional sense of humor, erudition, willpower, patience, unconventional thinking, unexpected problem-solving approaches, and tons of charm! And all their flaws can be fixed with the Ultimate Skovorodka of Cursed Gods in PvP mode ;)


"…Kiss you, love you, take care!"

P.S. During field trials and preparing materials, no Ksandr gamer was harmed.