Sex in Big Tedas

The room was surprisingly quiet. Why surprisingly? Because it was filled with numerous children and adolescents of various races and backgrounds. They sat at tables, just like desks in school, and cautiously looked at the door through which the professor was about to enter. The shutters creaked, and an old man in a black robe entered the room. His tiny black eyes scanned the gathered crowd, causing a group of commoner dwarves occupying the back desks to flinch. Rubbing his long gray beard, the professor coughed and took his place before the audience.

- Hm, I don’t see a single kunari among you, - the old man mumbled instead of a greeting. - That’s wonderful, because their horns would have curled up into a tube from today’s topic. So, listen carefully. I am not going to repeat anything twice. You do consider yourselves grown up, right?

Sex in Tevinter is far from being insignificant.

The old man glanced at a slouching boy at the front desk.

- You are stepping into the big world but know absolutely nothing about it. I am here to enlighten you. So let’s begin. Raise your hand if you are planning to join the Chantry of Andraste or are already a servant of hers.

Several girls with serene masks on their faces raised their hands.

- I knew it. So, my dears. Being a priestess is a blessing for the world but not for your personal life. If you have decided to become a priestess, remember – according to the "Song of Light," Andraste was the spiritual wife of the Creator. Thus, all Andrastian priests are symbolically betrothed to the Creator and cannot enter into a legal marriage, although they do not take a vow of celibacy. But really, what is this marriage? Marriage, in the eyes of the Church, is a celebration of traditions and a practical solution. A successful marriage can bring valuable connections, improve the couple's social standing, and ensure financial stability for the family. Love is not a requirement for a successful marriage but is desirable as it makes the bond stronger. And yes, remember, - the old man raised a finger, drawing attention to himself,- the Church allows annulment of marriage but not divorce. This applies to everyone.

The girls exchanged glances and shrugged.

- I am telling you all this so you understand one thing if you really feel the urge to run off with some strapping fool. You can enter into a "white marriage" - that is, get married, but there can be no mention of carnal pleasures or children. That’s that.

The girls' expressions did not change. They had been prepared for the service of the Church since childhood; they knew no other fate. The old man's words did not sow doubt in their souls.

There are few women among the Grey Wardens. And if they are, why not take advantage of the opportunity?

- Who wants to become a Grey Warden? After the last Blight and the heroic deeds of the order, there must be quite a few. Oh, how predictable, - the professor noted sarcastically, looking at the raised forest of hands. Even the aristocratic boy, who had recently caught the teacher's attention, lazily raised his hand.

- For what I am about to tell you, I could be crucified, quartered, filled with lead, the blood of darkspawn, and set on fire. Wardens are not just honor and eternal battle. It’s also a short life. Grey Wardens are not prohibited from marrying, but they do so very rarely. A short life span does not allow them to have children and long-term relationships. Even if they don’t perish in battle against darkspawn, they rarely live to old age – the taint takes its toll. - The old man fell silent and rubbed his neck. - Ah... if life is short, why waste it on battles? And these stupid Wardens, instead of rolling in the hay with some girl, dedicate their short lives to duty. What kind of family is that? Furthermore, conception is greatly complicated for them. If both parents are Wardens, it is practically impossible. So, my children, if you want offspring and a long happy life – forget about the Wardens. Especially you, - the professor jabbed his long bony finger at the boy so abruptly that he almost fell off his chair in surprise.

Though Wardens rarely start families, they are not forbidden from falling in love.

- Yes, yes, you. You are noble, from Ferelden, Orlesian? Who knows, you can't tell. Although there is a difference, heh-heh, - the old man's eyes narrowed and gleamed mischievously, - aristocrats in Orlais are not like Ferelden ones. They are known for their hedonism and extravagance, and sexual relationships with multiple partners of both genders are not uncommon for them. Commoners are much less tolerant of such behavior, at least publicly. If you believe the "Stolen Throne"... - noticing the bewilderment on the faces of his listeners, the professor sighed and muttered, - what kind of children have come. They don’t read books, have to be dragged to lectures. This is a historical book. Let’s not go into details or you might actually read it. So what was I saying? Ah, about the Emperor Florian who had an affair with his cousin Magrin, for which Magrin was banished from Orlais to Ferelden. The scandal surrounding their relationship was likely due to their kinship. But it’s not a fact that both of them were men. Such are the morals in Orlais, my dears. Tell me – why on earth did they banish their cousin? Ferelden, after all, will be more modest in morals.

The old man chuckled and glanced again at the boy, who sat at his chair with a sour expression. For a couple of minutes, the professor waited for any reaction from the audience, but there was none. The children were still quietly whispering among themselves and looking around – some with interest, others with disdain and discontent. After remaining silent for a minute, the lecturer continued.

- So, we also have mages and templars. What do they have in common? - the question was obviously rhetorical, as he didn’t expect an answer, - The Circle. Templars and mages are closely linked, no matter what they tell you. Templars are just as much prisoners of the Circle as the mages, except their cage is golden. Templars take a vow of celibacy while they serve in the Circle. Naturally, no shenanigans between mages and templars are possible. Brief forced connections don’t count. Yes, a templar may fall in love with a mage, but it won't end well. Likewise, if a mage falls in love with a templar. Let’s look at the illustrations.

The professor approached the board and hung two colored pictures on it.

correct

incorrect

The girl in the robe, apparently a mage, squirmed in her seat and quietly remarked:

- But Veness and Saddat were together.

The professor raised his eyebrow and scratched his chin, as if surprised that someone among the students had found their voice.

- Correct. But don’t forget how it all ended. The mage Veness and the promising templar Saddat spent a night together. Veness became pregnant and fled the Circle so that her child wouldn’t be taken away. Saddat found her and killed her. There you have love and carrots. Duty for a templar is above all. Now, let’s talk about mages. Aside from romantic affairs with templars, mages, due to their status as outsiders, are not bound by traditional social norms and, consequently, have greater sexual freedom. Yes, they are advised not to marry or have children, as their offspring have a high probability of having magical powers. The Circle has birth control measures to prevent the birth of magically gifted children. But if a mage does birth a child, it is immediately taken away from the mother and raised under the guidance of the Church. Naturally, if the child shows magical abilities, they are sent to the Circle. There they are kept in complete isolation to learn to control their powers. It would seem that all conditions are created to let loose. To have a child in the Circle, one must make an effort; templars know their business. Yes, live, enjoy life, and kiss. But no – they demand freedom...

A mage can fall in love. However, life for such a family will not be sweet. Constant pursuits, constant fears...

The professor clicked his tongue, fell silent, and began to scrutinize the faces of those gathered.

- Naturally, these rules do not apply to all mages. There are those who resist the order. Such mages are called apostates, and they must hide from the templar order and the Church for their entire lives. There are those who were hidden from the Church by their parents. And of course, those who escaped from the Circle. Usually, they sit quietly, trying to lead normal lives. They start families, raise their children, teach them magic if the children inherit the gift. But they live in constant fear of being found and captured. So think carefully, do you really want such freedom?

The old man sighed and began to comb his beard with his long bony fingers.

- Or take, for example, these shorties. They would score a hundred points against any Orlesian or Antivan. What, small but fierce? - the lecturer chuckled unpleasantly and winked at one of the dwarves, - A lot is said about your people. Ah, so much. Don’t be afraid, buddy. It honors you! Dwarves of Orzammar are known for their polyamory (having several sexual partners), especially among the upper caste. Although a dwarf has only one legal spouse, many nobles keep concubines. They are considered part of the household and their names are listed in the registration book. Confess, - the old man jumped to the astonished dwarf so suddenly that he even squeaked in surprise, - your father must have a whole harem, right? I knew a dwarf who had thirty concubines! He recorded them in the book by number. He couldn't remember their names for the life of him. By the way, is your mother a commoner? - not giving the chance to answer, the old man rambled on, obviously relishing his own importance and knowledge.

- Dressed decently, so not from the lower castes. Children among dwarves belong to the caste of the parent of the same sex. For particularly gifted, let me explain. Boys belong to their father's caste, girls to their mother's. So many commoners offer themselves to the nobility as sexual partners, hoping to bear a noble child. Since dwarven fertility is in a dangerous decline, any noble child is considered a blessing and such offers are rarely refused. Well, for example, if a noblewoman gives birth to a baby boy from a commoner, the infant is discarded. This is because he will be a member of the lower caste and a burden to parents from the noble house. This is how it turns out. And a wife, and concubines, and whirling with a delicious uh... beside. It’s good to be a dwarf.

Cross-race relationships are possible but not encouraged.

The dwarves frowned and crossed their arms over their chests, clearly unwilling to hear something like this addressed to them. But the old man had already forgotten about them. He was waiting for an even tastier victim.

- You, pointy ears, - the lecturer nodded towards a group of flat-eared individuals gazing at the professor with astonished wide eyes, - you are from the city, right? Oh, how bleak your lives must be, poor things. Noble humans occasionally steal your women for carnal pleasures. They say one time they even snatched one right from a wedding? What a hassle, I would be offended. Oh, how offended! For city elves, marriage is sacred. Marriage is a rite of passage, the thing that distinguishes children from adults. Elven children are typically chosen by their parents and the elder of the elf clan. Often, the groom and bride do not meet until the wedding. Although this is not new. The human nobility does this all the time, so don’t complain about your fate, - the old man chuckled, scratched his nose, and continued his tirade, addressing all present

- Engagement is usually concluded between families from different elven clans to support inter-city trade and attract new elves to the community. The wedding ceremony requires the approval of the church and is conducted by a priestess. Pointy ears, take note, - the old man nodded at the girls still sitting with marble faces, - these will in the future be able to wed you to someone. Build connections in advance, or they might not approve. What was I saying? Yes, weddings. In communities where there are few reasons to celebrate, a wedding is a remarkable event. The entire neighborhood gathers to enjoy a feast and dances. Your brethren, the Dalish, do not have this. They are very specific. A boy grows up when he becomes a hunter. Then he marries, has children, and the list goes on. By the way, - the professor lowered his voice to almost a whisper, - they say they don’t do that before marriage. So you might learn wisdom from them. Or better from kunari. These are the embodiment of chastity. Just don’t confuse kunari and tal-vashoth. If you meet a mercenary with gray skin and horns, know – that’s a tal-vashoth. And if you dare to ask him who Kun is, the Creator will be the one to answer you.

This "lady" takes clients in the Kirkwall brothel. Considered one of the best boys girls in the city. For true gourmets and lovers of exoticism.

The old man cleared his throat and continued, evidently determined to convey his thoughts to the golden youth.

- The kunari have no "family units." They do not marry or choose partners. They also do not associate mating with love. Unlike humans. How do they often do? First the bed - then love. But kunari are different. They love. They have friends. They form emotional bonds with one another. They simply do not sleep with each other to express that. If this happens, they are re-educated by the Ben-Hassrath. If a child is born as a result, they will do with it what they do with other kunari children, - the old man paused and smiled slyly, - it will be raised by tamassrans, evaluated, and assigned a task. What did you think? Kunari do not throw their people away. That’s how it is. Learn. They do not need to prove their love in bed. Other races compared to them are sexually obsessed. However, I have always been curious, do the kunari approve of same-sex attraction or not? Homosexuality is an interesting topic for discussion. And that’s what we will engage in. A discussion, of course!

The professor smiled slyly and glanced sideways at his students, estimating how many among them might be admirers of the blue tribe. Among those who attended the lecture were elves, Antivan crows, humans, mages pretending not to be mages... In short, there were many candidates.

Is homosexuality a disease or a quirk of character?

- Let’s start, perhaps, with Ferelden. Here, same-sex relationships are considered strange but not immoral. Orlesians consider homosexuality simply a quirk of character, and Antivan crows show tolerance, if not encouragement, toward relationships with multiple partners of both genders. In some circles, like among city elves, -the flat-eared individuals flinched at the mention of their race and opened their eyes even wider, - and human nobility, there is pressure to marry only someone of the opposite sex. But this is out of pragmatic considerations rather than morality – a homosexual couple cannot have biological children. For an endangered race like elves, it is vital that each couple produce offspring. But who knows what’s going on in their little heads. Poor things cry out at every corner that they do not love humans. And do you know why? -the old man's bead-like eyes sparkled mischievously, - Because humans are born from them! Elven genes are degenerating, and as a result, the children of elves and humans are always humans. Nevertheless, some elven traits can pass to them. Relationships with humans are considered betrayal, and any elf raising a human child risks being expelled from the community. Dwarves and humans can also have offspring (children of such unions will be half-dwarves), but this is very rare since dwarves consider elves and humans inferior races. Although they themselves did not come out tall. But look at the potential!

Brothels are a favorite place for pirates, smugglers, and nobility.

- And now we will move on to the most interesting part of our lecture and talk about brothels. What, your eyes lit up, huh? Well then, listen and remember. Brothels are legal in Ferelden, Kirkwall, and Orzammar. Though they are not considered respectable establishments, visiting them, rather than shabby taverns or gambling dens, is no longer taboo. So, prostitution is legalized. Even without brothels, there are plenty of peculiar "butterflies". Same dwarven women from the lower castes who are willing to lay down for any wealthy bearded man just to improve their situation. With this, I conclude. I hope I didn’t babble for an hour for nothing. Maybe something stayed in your iron heads.

The old man silently turned and majestically walked towards the door, leaving the bewildered audience behind. Alas, it is unlikely his words affected these children much, who dozed through the first half of the lecture and were waiting for it to end during the second.

Part of the information in this lecture was derived from here.

I would like to express gratitude to Condottiere and Soth for proofreading.

An offline editor Midest was used for writing.