THIS IS RUSSIA! Report on Uwe Boll's meeting with his fan club.
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CAUTION, THIS POST HAS TOO MUCH UWE BOLL!

The text below is by @AQuaRity, the photos are mine.

The great and terrible finally arrived in Moscow. For the first time. Right from the plane, he headed to the "VseSOYUZny" store for a signing session. In the case of any other director, it would be appropriate to say – meet with fans, but Herr Boll is a special case. There were indeed fans there (all three of them, more on them below), but most came just to see Uwe Boll, whose name has become synonymous with trash adaptations of games.

Outwardly, Uwe is quite an ordinary middle-aged man, with a broad smile and a unique sense of humor. For the first forty minutes, he answered questions from the crowd. During this time, we learned that:

- Uwe Boll believes he makes good films, but they are not accepted at festivals solely because of his reputation;

- Uwe Boll is filming Dungeon Siege 2, but Statham became "too expensive," so the action takes place 50 years after his death;

- Uwe Boll could become the director of Alone in the Dark 3, despite the fact that he was only a producer for the second part;

Uwe smiles

- Uwe Boll would like to make a film based on Halo, but he needs 00 million for that, which he currently does not have;

Uwe listens to a question from the audience

- Uwe Boll is not planning to shoot movies in Russia for now because it’s expensive and he doesn’t know Russian;

Uwe thinks

- Uwe Boll urges everyone to buy licensed DVDs, as independent cinema survives only through TV screenings and DVDs. "The Latin American market is already lost due to piracy, the Asian market is also in critical condition, but you still have a chance in Russia to overcome this evil";

Uwe and the crowd

- Uwe Boll loves Russian films. He loves Mikhalkov ("the old Mikhalkov," he hasn’t seen the last five of his films), and among his top twenty favorites is our "Come and See";

Uwe answers a question

- Uwe Boll mainly plays on Xbox "in arcade racing";

Translating a question for Uwe

- Uwe Boll would like to shoot porn clips for Rammstein.

If anyone is interested in the full interview – maybe someone will post it somewhere someday. But not here. Besides, Uwe's answers aren't the most interesting part of the event. Even the microphone understood this, as it periodically failed to work.

The main thing – was what happened afterward.

Uwe laughs

Because the crowd was quite colorful, and the signing session went tremendously well.

Uwe signs someone’s blank disc

By the way, many gamers planned to come, but there were no familiar faces in the crowd. Although the crowd was quite large.

Beginning of the signing session

Uwe Boll readily posed for photos, so there will be something to remember.

Before moving on to the photos, I will tell you about how my – AQuaRity – meeting with the Great went.

When I approached him, he showed interest in my T-shirt. It turned out, it said something about Germany and Dresden in English. I honestly admitted that in Russia, people rarely read English inscriptions on T-shirts, and this particular shirt was chosen randomly from the shelf. A coincidence. I asked him whether he would meet with the developers of Postal 3 in Moscow. He replied that he was communicating directly with Vince Desi about Postal 3 and wasn’t planning to go to the Russian studio.

First, I gave him the movie “Postal” for signing, which I had once bought as a bonus from “Mood” and tossed on the shelf. Now it has “To Andi from Uwe” on it! Then I gave him the disc of "Silent Hill" with the words “Just for lulz, write something on her face, please.”

Uwe signs Silent Hill

Uwe proudly drew a mouth on the girl and wrote his autograph in it. Then he said something about the girl, but I didn’t understand him. Something like “this girl was somewhere else.” I made a smart face.

Uwe with the Great

Cannoneer took a photo of us, and as a parting gift, he handed Uwe a signature condom from Postal 3, received at KRI, with the words “I have a postal-themed present for you from Russian gamers.”

I hope he understood the hint.

Uwe ponders

In the photos, you can find guys with a poster stating “Uwe Boll first Russian fan-club.” These are the same “fans.” In the end, we all took a photo together with Uwe and this poster on his camera (Cannoneer and AQuaRity included).

@AQuaRity photographs a fan with the Great

So if you happen to see a photo somewhere with the Russian fan club of Uwe Boll and us – don’t be alarmed, everything is okay. Just throw me the link to this photo.

Uwe laughs-2

And be more active, Moscow gamers! Such events are a great reason to meet up.

Uwe smiles-2

Especially on weekends.

He admitted that his films are financed with Nazi money

They go well together.

I wanted to finish with this photo.