The story of how BF3 lost to its competitor
Oh my God! MW3 has defeated everyone again!!
[a performance on a topical theme - all characters are real, and the text is extremely serious]
Attention!
This material will cause an unpleasant tingling sensation in the feed section of all fans of the series COD from the very first lines. To avoid particularly strong pain, apply a photo of Bobby Kotick to the affected area. They say the discomfort goes away like magic!
at first glance, the opponents are equal in chances of victory
Characters:
Modern Warfare Three (clone-candidate from Bobby Kotick)
Battlefield 3 (championship contender from EA)
Bobby Kotick (head coach of Modern Warfare)
EA (coach of Battlefield 3).
Part One: The Battle of Giants
The camera with fogged glass squeaked three times, and numbers of telemetry lit up on the dim screen. An Infinity Ward employee (hereinafter - IW) read the scrolling text and frowned.
- The clone is ready. Lower the pressure, we will unload. And… call the boss.
Before the life-giving slime could be drained from the capsule, Bobby Kotick arrived in the lab. His body squeezed through the complex equipment and greedily stared at the silhouette of the clone, lying like a baby lazily wriggling in a puddle of viscous liquid.
The scientist standing nearby (with an IW patch on his lab coat) apologetically raised his hands.
- 35 kilograms… That's all we could do...
Kotick ground his teeth.
- Have you lost your minds? Another skinny one?
He raised his bloodshot eyes to the consortium of IW employees watching the activation process from above.
- How do you explain this??
the pyrotechnics roar and sparkle, but do not bring joy at all.
One of the employees approached the microphone.
- You spent all the remnants of genetic material on Black Ops, sir. This clone was created using outdated materials from previous clones, copy-paste, and what we scraped off the walls. I remind you that you did not give us the go-ahead to introduce new material and a new engine, as that would delay the process of raking in cash... I mean, I wanted to say - worsen the financial performance.
The scientist shrugged his shoulders.
- So, with all due respect, we did everything we could.
Kotick screeched:
- Are you trying to play Zamppella and West? Get to work! Activate the clone, pump it with steroids, and have it ready for me by the 8th like new!
- What shall we name the clone, sir?
Kotick didn’t think twice:
- [Modern Warfare 3](/games?search=Modern Warfare 3)!
- But… excuse me, sir – should we really name such a mediocre specimen so loudly? Perhaps we should quietly patch it up and release it as paid DLC? – No one will say a word!
But Kotick was no longer listening, heading for the exit.
- Show me the clone before the fight – he shouted as he slammed the door.
the decorations in MW3 smell of cardboard and rot
Before the Fight.
Modern Warfare Three put down the newspaper and with a trembling hand poured himself a protein shake into a glass.
- And what… am I supposed to compete with this? – the word