"Artifact, Wise Cow, and Yet Again the Bad Orcs" - Review

The days before the New Year are great. Not only do you momentarily forget about your studies/work and finally get engulfed by the spirit of something truly interesting, but also the well-known Steam holds grand sales annually on the eve of the New Year. And sitting on the first of January, you start to ponder how those coveted 75 dollars disappeared from your account without you even noticing. However, there are certain purchased projects that you want to discuss at length, with every ruble spent on them paying back at a 100% rate. Such a project is Deathspank, a simple role-playing game by video game guru Ron Gilbert.

The legendary Artifact is in our hands; we just need not to lose it...


In DeathSpank, orcs will create trouble for us

Gilbert, for the record, is one of the creators of the first two installments of the top-notch quest Monkey Island (the remakes of which, by the way, are currently being sold at hilarious prices on Steam). The experience in the field of developing “fun games” of this guy is undoubtedly high, since during breaks between his main developments, he collaborated with third-party companies, helping them create various games (for example, Hothead Games with their unique Penny Arcade Adventures). Currently, Ron, as stated in Wikipedia, works alongside Tim Schafer at Double Fine Productions but does not forget his closest partners. Thus, the game we will discuss today was developed by the aforementioned Hothead Games under Gilbert's close supervision, where the idea of an excellent comedic parody originated.

The visual style is executed very well


The arrows and spears shot into the hero do not disappear, but stick exactly in the spot where the shooter managed to hit

Farewell wise Cow and mysterious red-haired Woman

DeathSpank (which I will henceforth refer to as Deathspank) is a quirky character with a square jaw and a heroic attitude. No matter how awkward the situation is that our protagonist finds himself in, he will always find a way out and will surely come up with a hilarious quip. In general, everything in DeathSpank is built on humor and jokes, and without these components, the RPG from Hothead Games would be no more than a simple clone of Diablo. Take, for instance, the introductory video, where they explain what is happening here. What happens is this: Deathspank travels the world in search of the coveted Artifact (in the video, before “....the Artefact,” the narrator pauses for a moment; it comes off incredibly funny), which, besides being created by who-knows-what and for whatever reason, turns out to be simply a lightning-fast stick. “Our hero was offered money, half a kingdom, or something like that?,” you might ask. But no, he’s just used to not asking unnecessary questions and doing what is needed.

Cows, as Deathspank claims, are truly wise beings


There are plenty of explosive items in the game; those retro game popular red barrels are something!

Although, one could argue about “not asking unnecessary questions.” In absolutely every dialogue, we are allowed to choose several response options/conversation continuations. One of them is typically purely script-based, leading to the outcome the writers planned. The other options are merely humorous jibes and silly questions. For example, with the local Cow, one can discuss the weather and the universe, with the mayor of the town ponder who Orcs (Orque) are and whether they have parents (how about the option of appearing from rotten cabbage?), with the old man (oops, pardon, he asked not to be called that) learn the secret behind the incredible taste of Taco for just one dollar, with the saleswoman of that very Taco discuss the quality of education at the “College of Philosophy and Culture,” and finally not trip over, receiving a question from the monk, “Why do you need the Artifact?”. In this case, Deathspank either mumbles something (“umm, er, it’s for…uh.. this thing I… you know”), or tells the whole truth: some mystical red-haired woman asked him to find the Artifact many years ago.

Love is a terrible power

You need…magic poop??

The quests that the hero receives are also not devoid of their “charm.” If I recall any common ones, the first that comes to mind is repainting an object by mixing reagents (a bucket of paint and the item itself, for example), returning a citizen’s wallet stolen by sneaky and bloodthirsty plants, collecting “demonic magic poop” (yes, indeed, what you thought), known for their beneficial properties, conducting a small study for a curious naturalist (and then getting hit by demons that appeared from nowhere), obtaining certain items (a crystal, water from a demonic river, for instance), and many others. Most of them, however, still boil down to total annihilation of mobs. The truly original quests pertain to the storyline. For example, a quest where we need to open a secret door to advance further into the location is resolved in quite an interesting manner: by clearing the “corridors” of the dungeon, we eventually receive “demonic armor,” become incredibly attractive, and the level “boss” (who we can’t kill, as the difference in “levels” is too great) helps solve a simple puzzle. In such moments, one really wants to applaud the developers – DeathSpank is original, even if it hasn’t gone far from the “kill n-number of monsters” system. Genre’s casualties, after all.

The interface is simple and user-friendly

Work for merry man

DeathSpank is a role-playing game, and as is fitting for any decent role-playing game, it has a leveling and development system. However, it's excessively simplified and unobtrusive. With each “level-up,” we are given a special card that increases one or another characteristic of Deathspank, such as “+ 15 percent to speed,” “+ 10 percent to block hold time,” and so on. Life points increase only through equipped armor, some of which, by the way, also provide resistance to certain types of damage (frost, fire, etc.). Weapons are characterized by the same principle, except that the best clubs have unique properties. It’s also worth mentioning the so-called “Justice”: upon filling the corresponding “rage bar,” Deathspank activates the accrued power through his sword/axe/mace, delivering some impressive “combo.” One of the swords, for example, allows the owner to imitate a natural “whirlwind,” shredding all poor souls in the way. There are also hammers that knock back or stun the opponent. It’s through such “perks” (along with a block through the space bar) that the combat system in DeathSpank appears fresh and interesting, as the number of weapon combinations is limitless (you can create two loadouts of weapons that you can switch at any time by pressing Tab).

Items, of course, have a level restriction

If not mentioning such auxiliary things as “Chicken Gun” (which literally shoots chickens), familiar potions and food that restore Deathspank's HP at any peaceful time will find their place in our inventory. Unwanted junk accumulated after the genocide of hundreds of goblins or leeches can easily be processed through a special meat grinder, ultimately yielding us real in-game currency – dollars. Currency will quickly pile up in our little wallet to a pleasant sum, but don’t be fooled – inflation is not observed, and items from NPCs cost quite a bit.

The New Year did not pass for our subject without a trace: on January first, Deathspank woke up he knows not where, completely undressed and unarmed. It’s worth noting that the robbers did not take the money O.o


The eccentric man on the left – Lord Von Prong – always sings every last word of his sentence. A rather unpleasant type

By tracking the number of quests in our handy “Quest Journal,” Deathspank will be compelled to constantly move through the world. But agree that running on foot is not the noblest activity for a hero who is known far and wide. In such cases, the so-called Outhouses (mmm, yes-yes), come to the rescue, by using which the bringer of fate and fearless warrior can reach key areas of the map in a couple of seconds. How he manages this is decidedly unclear, but I implore you not to conduct similar experiments at home! It is fraught with... not the most pleasant consequences that Hothead Games forgot to mention in the guide.

Can I entertain you with more tales of my heroic adventures?

Deathspank from Ron Gilbert is one of the best ways to spend winter holidays or weekends. The game does not require constant “grinding,” it is simple and unobtrusive, and it has very funny dialogues that only the most hardened grouch would not appreciate. In the end, this game has excellent, original graphic design based on 2D/3D and no less top-notch voice acting for all the inhabitants of this cozy little world, who, for some mysterious reason, seem concerned about the fate of the stick-Artifact. And it turns out that a new threat looms over the kingdom, named Thongs of Virtue.