The Gamer's Path from NIKITA.Online - A Journey as Long as Life Itself (completed).

A little backstory.

Brevity is the sister of talent… I am happy for them. They have a great family, but my family is known for different qualities that nature gave us, so, as they say, there will be many letters. If I recall my parents, one could initially conclude that the child would be gambling, especially if it’s a boy. My father used to be a very gambling person. Now he only follows football and boxing, but before my birth, he was deeply immersed in cards.

Since I was three, I have been living in a small town in the north of our country. And the latest news reaches small towns much later than to the capital and other major points of the country. Once (in the lower grades), I had to leave with my grandma to the regional center, where I saw her for the first time a couple of days later…

In reality, she wasn’t like that. I couldn’t find a photo of that very Kenka, but I found a Dendy that looks very similar to the console I had.

Upon returning home, my grandmother, after my begging, whispered to my parents what would be best to give little Sasha for the New Year. At that time, no one, especially me, understood that this 8-bit toy would change my life forever. The New Year holidays lasted a long time. The whole family and relatives played on the console, without sparing the joystick, for about two weeks. And I could play only half an hour a day. But holidays come to an end sooner or later… my time has come. My first game was an arcade about a little plane. I still remember the music from that game. It seemed like an arcade, but playing this specific game taught me what HARDCORE meant. At a certain moment in the game, my plane was just showered with lead from all sides, and that level remained in my memory as much as the music from the game. You might ask what hardcore has to do with this? And I will answer. The level was theoretically unbeatable, and the last checkpoint (save point) was about ten minutes of flying through the enemy air corridor. After a few weeks, I knew every corner of the map and could probably pass those ten minutes with my eyes closed. (I wish I had thought of experimenting back then) The trick was that up to that point, you could not lose a single life, and the unbeatable level had to be flown through at full speed, and if everything was done right, there would be precisely one life left at the end of the level. And right after maneuvering through the lead corridors, the brave pilot would reach the last Boss. Frankly, by the time I was trying to get through that level, destroying the enemy, my skill grew to unprecedented heights, and even with one life left, the Boss stood no chance and was defeated on the first try. And now the most important part. Remember how you felt when you completed your first game. It was such a triumph, such a big victory, an indescribable feeling. This very feeling predetermined what I would do for a living. And who knows what would have happened to me now if it weren’t for that very little plane. There were, of course, victories before that, but they were completely different games.

The next day, the hunt for cartridges began. It was a fun time of exchanges, sales, and purchases of little plastic boxes. I have been working with computer hardware for quite a long time, and every time I see RAM… guess what I remember. Feel any nostalgia? I do.

I don’t know why, but I hardly played Mario. I memorized a lot of time killing with a neighbor trying to get through the adventures of two chipmunks. Did you guess what I mean? (the smile hasn’t left my face since I started writing) After all, Chip and Dale are the foundations of cooperative gaming. That’s who we should thank. Someone might want to argue with me and say that the tank game is the foundation of co-op. And you might be right because the tanks actually came out before the rodents. But personally for me, team play started exactly with them. With each passing month, the number of games increased, as did the consoles among friends and acquaintances. This moment I would call the foundation of the gaming community in my city. Many of those I once sat with behind an 8-bit friend are now excellent gamers, though most, love them or hate them, found themselves more interesting activities. Well, we can’t understand them, we are Gamers. Since cooperative play was so popular in our yard, some games that stuck in my mind were:

Chip and Dale (both parts)

Tanks

Contra

The series of games about battletoads

A few parts of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT)

Ghostbusters - an excellent cooperative mode for that time. It wasn’t just kill all together with your buddy, one shoots the beam at the ghost or other evil, while the other rolls in the trap. But this feature seems to only exist in the first part.

And honestly, nothing else really stuck.

After some time of using the Kenka, it was time for parental control for me - time limits, refusal to finance new games, and so on. Fortunately, that’s when we began selling the first generation portable consoles. Welcome – Tetris!

Many of you are probably ready to tear me apart for my last statement about Tetris. But don’t argue, I agree that the Wolf catching eggs is older than the console jerk. And I managed to play with it before Tetris, but somehow it just didn’t “hit” me, as they say. The game was too predictable.

The construction of a useless wall of crooked pieces captured our house. While my father watched NBA games on TV, a serious war broke out between my mother and me for the right to be crowned the player who scored the most points. Unfortunately for me, my enemy was perfectly prepared for the game and completely surpassed me at high speeds (probably due to being a long-time artist, his fingers worked like clockwork). I built the wall more beautifully; my enemy did it more effectively. You may not believe it, but Tetris also became hardcore for me. Because in order to beat the record, I had to train for an incredibly long time. And one day I managed to snatch a significant advantage in points and remained undefeated CHAMPION in the speed building category in our house.

Perhaps out of place, but I want to express my gratitude to the contest organizers right now. If it weren’t for your idea, I probably would have never wondered what came before. I write all this with a proud smile on my face, sometimes feeling sadness for the times that cannot be returned. Thank you.

If someone thought I was finishing, my advice is to make yourself some coffee.

After some more time (the next winter, after New Year), my mom and I went to the city of Severodvinsk, where her parents lived, and therefore my Grandma and Grandpa. By the way, I was also born there in 1988 and lived the first years of my life. For your information, I want to inform you that Severodvinsk is much bigger and more developed than the city where I live, which means that the goods there are more interesting than ours. Guess where I'm going with all this? No? Well, then I’ll lay it all out for you. Frost and sun, a wonderful day… (c) and my mom and I are rushing to the local department store through such a humpback. We arrived, warmed up. From afar, seeing the department dedicated to the sale of consoles and everything related to them, I rushed there. Pushing through the crowd, the boy finally finds himself next to the counter, behind which a young seller was playing on the console. I still had never experienced such shock as then. The seller was playing Comix Zone. My indignation made me stare at the TV and not move. I thought only one thing… “WHY DON’T I HAVE THIS GAME???” I urgently fished out the name of the game from the department worker, and while looking for it on the showcase, stumbled upon an interesting fact. What was connected to the TV was unlike anything I had seen before, neither my Kenka, nor my neighbor’s Dendy, nor any of the other things I had encountered previously. I quickly came to the conclusion that it was too early to look for the game, and not understanding the problem, began searching for it among the products. That very black box with shiny letters and numbers. “There it is, found it! But why is it so expensive? And why are there extra buttons on the joystick?” - I thought at that moment. And curse it, but my gaze still caught the white inscription in the red circle – 16 bit. Yes, this is it…

At that moment, I remembered my courtyard friends who have convinced me that there are consoles (back then this word didn’t exist, though) cooler than ours. And I, the fool, laughed at them, getting high playing on Kenka. Like any normal kid, at the same moment, I tried to tease my mom for a new toy for our home. But the gifts are given already, and the nearest holiday for which I could ask for such a device is still not soon (especially considering that my birthday is in August). The gamer’s beginning wouldn’t let me be at ease. My mother, noticing my unhealthy thoughtful and sad state, decided to comfort me by buying me a TAMAGOTCHI.

If only I had known what a setup that was. There’s an opinion that children had seriously fit in tantrums because their pet made of plastic is sad, or worse yet, went to Hades. I would throw tantrums for a different reason. No, not because they didn’t buy me a Sega, but because I was amazed by the stupidity of this artificial Japanese animal. I had something like a little dragon. So, dear friends! For example, our old friend Cheburashka is compared to this Japanese semi-beast just like Anatoly Wasserman! In general, this black-and-white screen did not become my friend.

Upon returning back to Veliky Ustyug, I learned not to eat at school for the first time in my life. Oh, who knew that these skills would come in handy later. I saved money for a 16 bit horse at every opportunity. My parents were amazed by my willingness to go grocery shopping. What’s with Sasha? He flew to the store - the change warmed up. Accordingly, I brought the moment of purchase closer. From Kenka, I only kept the most hyped and necessary games, while I sold off the rest. I sold some games that didn't attract me much. In general, I set myself up a small financial crisis. And as practice shows, such actions too proved useful in the future. While I was gathering money, one of the stores brought in “my beauty”. And each time I walked past the shop, I persuaded my parents to go in and specifically, definitely with sadness in my eyes, I stared at Sega, and when I heard “Well, let’s go,” I also deeply sighed every time. I also loved to look at the pictures on the boxes designed for carrying cartridges, never having played the games, but seeing the picture, the child’s fantasy immediately invented what the game was about and how it looks. Oh, childhood… such a cool thing. Meanwhile, my efforts in developing acting skills did not go unnoticed and were recognized. And that meant for me that I would not have to collect the entire sum. What can I say about what I felt during the purchase, knowing about financial support as there was a holiday in my soul that could not be compared to either a Birthday or a New Year’s Eve.

In the spring of that year, I became the happy owner of Sega Mega Drive 2. Thus, I entered a completely new level in my life. And of course, I immediately had favorite games. This is naturally Comix Zone

Road Rash 3 (crazy motorcycle racing, probably the best of its kind)

It so happened that I really liked sports simulators, especially hockey. By the way, after Sega, I no longer had love for them, but about that later.

One of my favorite games remains True Lies with Arnold Schwarzenegger in the lead role, as they say.

Ha – ha – ha… I remembered Earthworm Jim. With my friends, we humorously called this game - Worm in a Spacesuit.

In general, there were many more games on Sega than on Kenka, and the period of use stretched quite a bit. I remember games, such as Sabotage (sorry, I couldn’t find the picture)

Zombies Ate My Neighbors (perhaps the foundation of modern zombie horrors)

An unforgettable game for me became rock‘n roll racing.

Zero Tolerance was simply a fantastic game at that time, and passing it took a lot of time.

There were many games, but I would give a special place to the fighting game of all times. "Applause".

Here was pure water eSport of that time. The real discipline. I had no friends or acquaintances who weren’t fanatics of Mortal Kombat. I won’t say that I was a master, but I could give worthy resistance to anyone fighter from those I knew. And I remember some who seemed like they were born to play this game. I adored Smoke and Scorpion. To this day, I consider Smoke, Sector, and Xerox’s image the best that could be thought up for a cyborg. During our fighting battles, I was already in middle school, and I will never forget how in some lessons half the class murmured something to themselves. Some invented self-made joysticks and practiced combinations of their favorite MK characters in their heads. I also belonged to the inventive gamers and honed my skills on the most ordinary joystick cut from paper. After all, under the desk, no one could see what I had in my hands. You sit and stare at the textbook, but in your head, you think: "x x b c z down back z ....." If the teacher had heard what I was mumbling, people in white coats would have undoubtedly grabbed me during recess, but we had not gotten that far. While I moved to the kitchen, I recalled the sleepless nights going through Urban Strike and Desert Strike.

If anyone has forgotten, this is a game about the fearless helicopter pilot "Black Hawk".

There was a time I was wildly fanatical about Canon Fodder, I just adored those brave infantrymen.

And Dune!? And Dune!? Do you remember Dune??? I remember! I remember how that vile worm managed to eat my new resource processors three times in a row. I even remember what the last and the third from the end level of this game is called. The last Devastator, and the third from the end Sonicblast. Yes, Dune is probably the best strategy on 16-bit consoles.

Back then, there were indeed problems with strategies. Yes, by the way, now this situation hasn’t notably changed for console owners. In the nomination for best graphics, Toy Story wins.

And here, I can’t argue, such high-quality 3D graphics existed only in this game. "Ah, the time, I remember; the world seemed so huge" (c) Kasta

As usual, time flew by quickly, the hands moved, the candles burned, and the world was so eager to surprise with something unusual. Rarely were there advertisements for gaming consoles on TV, and because of this, new dreams and ideas were born in our minds. But, as always, what happened was the least of what I expected. The city began to see minor sales of computers, and in one store, in order to earn a little money and promote the product, it was ordered that visitors be offered to play on the wonder machine for a small amount of money. Right now I play for free in this shop (almost fell from the chair when I thought about what I wrote). Yes, life is an unpredictable thing, and now I work with computers. In that very store which made me realize that playing with a mouse is much more interesting to me than with a joystick. Now I sit here thinking what would have happened if I hadn't started taming the computer back then. I could have become a console guy! But my genre is shooters, and personally, I need a mouse and keyboard to play my favorite games. Initially, the human hand is not adapted to the shape of a mouse, no matter what it is. And the angle of the hand regarding the table for an extended period caused pain and discomfort. But we were on our path of discovering computer games and no discomfort could stop us. My very first computer game was Warcraft

And then I stumbled upon Duke Nukem…

And the first racing game of my life on a computer. The title I unfortunately did not catch. Ah, yes! Those very races became my first network game. The 1-on-1 mode. I and a stranger in two expensive foreign cars. The sharpest sensations I felt precisely when I won the race. My first victory in local networks. If only I had known back then who I would become in the not too distant future, I would have given up all the traditional holidays and celebrated my own. The first shooter, the first strategy, the first race, the first victory in the local network, and getting familiar with the mouse (and the mouse is the main weapon in my life). Perhaps one could remember and come up with holidays for a long time. This, by the way, was more of a joke (just saying). There were many people who wanted to play on the computer; mostly, of course, young people. And there were only two computers. And at that time, my innate gift of easy communication with peers and older people greatly helped me. Simply, when seniors came, the line changed like a train with attached wagons. But since everyone knew me (they beat me during recess – kidding), I was always in line right behind the seniors. As was expected, the bench soon closed, it was sad to discover that we would no longer be allowed to play.

But we did not despair, we took the gamepads again and whispered combinations from Mortal Kombat. On weekends, I sometimes lent the console to acquaintances whose parents weren’t generous enough to buy their child a console of their own. Those were hard days but necessary, as the money I earned could be spent on a new game or a new joystick cross. Have you forgotten what weak crosses Sega controllers had?! I will never forget how during the destruction of another opponent the cross would fly off, and you would get beaten like an infant while you were desperately trying to put the cross back in if it wasn’t completely broken. While reminiscing, I remembered yet another game. Already of a completely different genre; probably it can be called a quest. Or even an Arcade Quest (just invented a new genre - don’t hit me in the face) The Lost Vikings, a sea of levels, one more difficult than the next. An excellent means to kill a huge amount of time while also enjoying the game.

Time still did not spare us, and once, friends jabbered to me that in another part of the city, for money, it was possible to play on the Sony PlayStation 2. The very next day, I took some cash and rushed to that little shop with a classmate. And yes! They really had SP2. The owner of this business put up a beautiful sign outside with the slogan: "What is our life? A game from Sony!". And he hit the mark because that sign cheered me and everyone I knew up a whole lot. Since the Sony was much more expensive than its predecessors, we became regular customers of that place. And I am again pondering how awesome it was to continually discover something new. Sorry I am digressing. That evening, my friend and I sat down to play Quake 2.

The game didn’t leave a particularly big impression, but still, I became a Quaker a few years later. However, it was already Quake 3 (OSP). And 2 Quake did not appeal to me much because, literally the next day, we discovered a new game. It was about Syphon Filter.

It's still unclear how one could play against each other on a screen divided vertically in half, while believing the opponent wouldn't peek. I will tell more about this game later, it deserves it. We defined action, but there were still many untamed games. Racing. In this genre, we quickly found ourselves engaged after discovering Twisted Metal 4.

We didn’t catch the previous parts and didn’t try to regress either; we settled on the 4th part of mad racing. Next to where the Sonys were standing, the kids were always spinning around (like beggars) and for mere pennies entered passwords. We didn’t spare any money because back then we didn’t understand that you could play, but you could play fair. I remember one of those kids, now a gamer (a real noob), who works in construction. Mortal Kombat is certainly the hit of hits, but of course, young talents wanted to discover something new and so, upon another visit to queue up, we stumbled upon guys who were playing Tekken 3.

Going through the game didn’t particularly interest us. It was much more fun to beat up my desk neighbor, ending the round with a beautiful grab. Tekken may be fine, but my exploration of the games for SP didn't end there. Most games were one-offs; we came, played for an hour - then forgot. But my conscience wouldn’t let me classify Army Man among those games. It was a game about colored soldiers who were supposedly made of plastic. Naturally, the screen was split in half and you pretend not to peek.

Although back then no one had the dexterity in games as they do now, and peeking was sometimes simply out of the question. Struggling to control my character, I had to manage to sneak a peek at the second half of the screen and keep my friend in check so he wouldn’t look at my half. The biggest problem was the local street hoodlums; sometimes they would brazenly snatch our joysticks, which the owner of the establishment would turn a blind eye to. Sometimes we didn’t even manage to pay for the rent because the money had already been taken away. Overall, it was a tough time. The desire to play and discover something new was stronger than ever, but sometimes there were just no physical opportunities to do your favorite thing. Along with all the problems, life is a funny thing; and now the head of the same local street gang is my good friend and an excellent gamer. We often play Dota together ... oh! It’s too early for Dota... I said nothing, it wasn’t me! Well, no matter how you look at it, those guys contributed their part to shutting down the spot, scaring away honest renters, and the business crashed. But there is no evil without good. In the city, new spots with consoles opened one after another. I also managed to spend several hours on Sega Dreamcast, snowboarding and breaking faces in the ring. But Sony was now much dearer, and there were far more games for it. The games just flowed like a river: Carmagedon was at the forefront of racing.

Jackie Chan Stuntmaster, Wrestling, and numerous other fighting games

Millenium Soldier

Sled Storm

Just a drop from that river of games. It’s not really possible to remember everything; that’s just how we are by nature. Oh, I promised to tell you more about Sifon Filter. In one of the gaming mini-clubs, there was even a tournament for this game. The whole tournament was conducted simultaneously on two screens. This meant that two duels were played at once. On one TV, two players fought for supremacy and on the other. It’s funny that there were special people (the same young guys as the tournament participants) who held a large cardboard in the middle of the screen so that the players wouldn’t peek at each other’s screens. I can picture that scene and involuntarily smile. But the final, the final was conducted on two TVs. And the finalists played on their screens. Cool? Back then, it was very cool. As you might have guessed, I won that tournament… well… how should I put it… I didn’t win anything. I missed it with a whistle, just like all my friends. That bitter experience helped us later on. One time, walking into our favorite spot, naturally, the place where the tournament took place, we found it under renovation and an announcement that the gaming consoles left for good. Just a few days later, while walking with friends in stores, we accidentally saw a sign that the first computer club in the city was opening. The address was exactly where we had been hanging out for the past few months. Turns out, they were doing renovations for us, for the future visitors of the computer club.

A few days later, the first computer club in our city was opened. It was called "Arena". I am willing to bet that in any city there is an establishment with such a name. There were plenty of machines for that time. About ten of them. The prices were ridiculous, you could steal. In general, the owner was skimming profits until a competitor appeared. Now the hours of internet access cost less than it did back then without the internet. But we spent our savings and stash without a second thought to play Counter-Strike.

Yes, yes, this game is exactly what I’m talking about. You just couldn’t help but fall in love at first sight. So, the round begins. Back then I could buy myself time because purchasing weapons was done not through configs and hotkeys, but with the mouse. There were also the so-called “six” in the club, guys who helped the admin with whatever he wanted in exchange for free time at the computer. These guys learned to play CS much faster than others. Sometimes, while I was purchasing, one of those guys was already running to the respawn and killing me. Then we learned to buy weapons using quick keys. Before the game, we wrote down any combination of gun purchases in a notebook, and during the game, we laid that notebook in front of the keyboard and, using it as a guide, armed ourselves much faster. In thirty seconds. At that time, I ended up in a hospital, and of course, I sneaked out for a few hours to the club, and before the central doors closed, I returned like nothing happened. As you might expect, one time at the post of med.sisters, I was caught. I received a reprimand, and my parents were warned that after the next violation, they would discharge me. After a serious conversation with my relatives, I promised not to bother them anymore. You won’t believe it, but I did keep my promise. For ten long days, I saved money and laid on the bed, imagining how I would play with friends in my favorite game. As soon as I got discharged, I rushed to the club, where I hoped to find my friends, but they were absent, and many other visitors who were constantly in the playroom were missing as well. The manager was extremely impolite and edgy. Something smelled like trouble. I found only one old neighborhood acquaintance who hurried to finish his paid time because he had somewhere to run. As it turned out later, he was in a hurry to a new computer club where a promotional campaign was happening. And what could a computer club offer its visitors? Of course, free time to spend with games. I rushed there just as fast as he did. I didn’t know then that the next six years of my life would be dedicated precisely to that place. Devoted – in the literal sense of the word. Finally, we reached our destination, greeted by a sleek red staircase leading to the second floor and a bright sign, freshly painted, with the name of the club. It was called – GameZone. This was the only club that survived in our city and has existed for quite a while already, eight or nine years. Frankly, everyone lost track of how long the club has been around. Upon entering the room, we saw a managed herd; in this herd were most of my acquaintances, as well as many completely unfamiliar faces to me. Why managed herd? For the promotional campaign, each could play for free for just an hour, after which he had to either free up space or pay for more time. The administrator constantly sat down someone and picked out people from the crowd who hadn’t played yet so that they could enjoy the game. Many tried to sneak in for a second go, and they succeeded.

Practically everyone who worked in the club were gamers and remain them to this day. Club director Alexey Mikhaylovich Taratin (back then, he was Uncle Lesha for me) is a separate conversation. Ten to twelve years ago, he was known to the Russian gaming community as [Z]King. Z is a clan that signified BEASTS. These guys were the fathers of domestic Quake. Their nicknames still flash in some networks. KinG, Tyrannos, Dinamit, Maniac, Caress, Delitel, Hector, Tramp - these were the most recognized among them. All these guys studied in the same university in St. Petersburg and devoted most of their free time to Quake and Team Fortress in a dorm at the Lesnoy station. Their team was on par with super teams like DEMONS and Fire Wolves. They were also champions of Russia, I can’t remember which year. Some of them even achieved success in individual competitions for the first Quake. And Alexey himself took the title of champion of Russia in 2000. Of course, they still maintain friendships as that age united friends for a lifetime. In general, Alexey contributed to my gaming journey in the future. But that was later, while at the time I was 12-13 years old according to the narrative. The prices in the club were decent; after spending two months at that previous club where the manager "twisted" the price, we could afford much more game time here. For default, in that old version of CS, the name was - Colonel Petrenko. But at that time, no one knew console commands, hence a dozen Colonel Petrenkos ran around with different numbers. After a few days, one of my friends gave Counter-Strike a new life...

-Sasha, Sasha, try writing something in the table.

-Ilya, let me play normally, you’ve been buzzing in my ear for half an hour.

-I want to try to change the name.

-o_O

-Well, open the table (console), it’ll take only a couple of minutes.

Of course, I opened the console and watched as he slowly typed in English letters with one finger, saying them out loud.

-Sasha, I can’t find the letter, help me.

-What are you looking for? Just tell me what you want to write because I’m sitting here and don’t understand anything.

-I want to write “name is” and then any name, even yours.

Then it took us about two minutes to find the letter N.

-HERE IT IS! (we both yelled simultaneously)

-HERE IT IS! (we both yelled simultaneously)

-What’s wrong with you, scream like that? They’ll kick us out.

-All right, quietly, I’ll find the letter A, and you find the letter... (we thought about how to spell the word name)... find the letter M, it’ll go faster that way.

Struggling for about five minutes, we finally typed in the console - name is sana (that's how they used to write Sasha)

After hitting enter, I held tab and we began to look at what we had produced. The name was obviously is, and at that time the chewing gum “love is…” was very popular. And my buddy in a spasm stated that “You could have written love is too.” Oh, how we laughed, and probably would have laughed all day if the Administrator hadn’t shushed us. In general, this is how we learned to change the name in CS. This “fashionable feature” was quickly adopted by the others, and Colonel Petrenko has since lived only in our memory.

At that time, we were not interested in any games except CS. At first, we only played it. Inviting acquaintances to play against us, we mostly heard refusals. Because they were planning to play: Hitman, Delta Force, Cossacks, Quake 3 Arena, Warcraft 2, and other games that seemed worthless to us at that moment. We introduced all acquaintances to the club; once you dragged someone into the club, they automatically became a regular customer. Of course, we didn’t play as much as it seems since then there was no money of our own, and parents were unwilling to pamper us with cash. Our efforts and training didn’t go in vain; we were determined to kill admins. In our circles, it was highly valued if the admin didn’t get bored playing against you in CS. Of all my company, I was the best at it. Of course, the club workers were the best gamers then, especially Dmitry Gromza who played (and plays) under the nickname Gromozeka, a former student of the same school I was attending at that time. We had our last tournament of Counter-Strike in the same team, but I seem to be rushing ahead. I have several best friends, and one of them is him. Games bestowed me with an excellent friend, for which I want to say a huge thank you.

My love for CS did not fade. The CS itself loved us, and the time for the first tournament came. The juvenile captain with the nickname TVAX is gathering a team to show everyone how serious of competitors we are. And, of course, the squad consisted of the friends who I thought played better. They were all older than me by a year or two; and did not prevent me from leading the team to victory. I was so sick and obsessed that it didn’t even cross my mind what we would be facing. I believed in victory no less than in Grandpa Frost. And I would have emotionally survived (and I survived) the news that the bearded grandpa is a fairy tale. But other news I had to endure very hard. We confirmed the exact squad a day before the tournament, in general, we didn’t prepare at all and didn’t fine-tune the style of team play. Everyone was convinced that as soon as the game starts, we would immediately play like a team. After all, we are friends, it couldn’t be any other way.

The day of the game came. I walk in with one team member, together we go to the third, then the fourth and the fifth one. Upon entering the club, we discover that the team needs a name; the club director, the same Uncle Lesha, calls me over and wishes to hear the name of the team. I get lost and have no idea what to say. But my friend helped me, doing us all a disservice. He shouted that the team was called “Cockroaches”. And that’s what the organizers were waiting for, so we could think of something. Without the right to change the name, Alexey put us in the tournament brackets with this name. Dima, what cockroaches?! – I asked my buddy for about ten minutes. But honestly, the tension was rising, and we began to get very nervous. It was noticeable on my entire team. At that moment, I was ready for any name, just to overcome the nervousness which, of course, later affected the game negatively. Call us anything, even Barbie, just help calm down, I thought before the game. And now comes the moment when they hang the tournament bracket. I go up to it and see that we have drawn the Bulls for our first game. Actually, the team’s real name was BK, which stands for Bionic Killers, but we dubbed them Bulls. I don’t remember the first map, but the second was definitely cs_estate. After losing the first map, the nerves disappeared, I can’t say that for the whole team but for me it disappeared. I realized we could lose (and as you know, boys head for victory) and pulled myself together. I made a poor Toreador and we lost both maps. That’s it. You can go home. Two lost games meant that we wouldn’t be the champions. The last thing I remember is the sneering laughter of one of the team’s participants that we just lost to. He even managed to call my team bugs. But who would have known that this laughter would soon turn against him? The evening of sorrow followed. After the loss, we barely spoke and quietly scattered home, no one even stayed to watch the remaining games. We only learned who became the first champion of our city a couple of days later. In principle, we guessed that it would be a team of the club employees. So it turned out, the team called GZ (GameZone) won that evening, and we were left but with disappointment.

A terrible depression covered me for several days. Luckily, it was during the winter holidays so I didn’t have to go somewhere in those days of suffering from a terrible defeat. Now I understand what that loss served me. After that day, I knew what it meant to be beaten and smeared (the term smeared, incidentally, fits very well with our team name). But before the holidays ended, I began to feel better and wanted to conquer new heights.

And here, for which I respected myself at that moment, is that upon coming back to the club, I started to play and proudly signed up [T]TVAX. And I didn’t care one bit about the defeat of the Cockroaches. This was my team, and I wasn’t going to bury it underground. Whoever has never been hit with their face on the bottom, does not climb to the top. (c)

I naturally spent all my free time in the club. I knew that there would be other championships or leagues and I was preparing hastily for them. I don’t remember playing anything other than Counter-Strike that year. Problems started with parents due to my frequent absences from home. No, there were certainly problems already before, but at that time, I was not a defeated captain and therefore didn’t often vanish into the club. Immersed in the nirvana of memories, I now recall one game that I occasionally played alongside Counter-Strike. It was my favorite game of school years – Return to Castle Wolfenstein. Of course, not 3D.

Especially memorable were levels against the undead in the dungeon. I wouldn’t say that this game taught me anything. I simply loved killing Nazis in the virtual world. Ultimately, I finished the 7th grade much worse than my previous years.

Less than a year after the Cockroaches didn’t win a single game at the championship, an announcement appeared in the club about an upcoming league in CS. Just for reference, I remind you. The championship is held over a short period, a day, two days, a week, a couple of weeks. Depending on the scale of what’s happening. Naturally, if it’s a World Cup in football, it stretches for a few weeks, but if it's some championship for checkers in the city of Shilimuradovschensk, a few hours will suffice. The league is held over a longer period, again depending on the scale. The first league for the game known to all dragged on for a couple of months in our little town. I was very young and very disappointed that all league games would happen after 9 PM. For me, this meant that I wouldn’t even have a chance to watch how others would compete. And to be honest, the Cockroaches had disbanded over the year; I was still there, but the others... someone moved to another city, someone wasn’t even from our town, and one of our buddies gave up Counter-Strike altogether after the loss at a tournament. Well, at least my classmate Mikhail Wolf Konyayev was ready to participate in the league if he could solve the issue with his parents.

Soon, the league began and there were more teams than the club’s administration anticipated. In general, everyone except us was pleased. Every day after school we rushed to the club to check the league standings. We watched which team was showing better on which map. We observed changes in rosters. Basically, we studied the tactics of potential opponents. If I didn’t play in the league, it would have been because during one of the breaks a senior classmate (I thought he was going to beat me up - just kidding) approached me and proposed that I take the place of the fifth player. And again I felt ecstasy, and again plans and tricks flowed in my head. He practically made me an offer I couldn’t refuse, and no temporary limits could stop me anymore. Fortunately, it was just the beginning of the league, and I had time to prove myself. I had to constantly spin yarn to my parents. You could practically open your own noodle shop. I was a master of that affair. The team I was invited to was called CSW (Counter Strike Warriors). Although I was the youngest in the team, that didn’t mean I played worse than anyone else. On the contrary, I played more effectively than many, and perhaps only the team captain played better than me. The whole team was from our school, and every break, we chatted about the completed and upcoming games.

My performance in subjects fell unrelentingly, and honestly, I didn’t complain about that productivity. I played my favorite game and tiny details like school didn’t concern me at all. Based on my thinking and resourcefulness, I could often not prepare for lessons. Although I had to pass all my subjects that were required by the teachers with a three. Initially, we were holding in the middle of the table. Both strong victories and silly defeats due to minor mistakes occurred. In general, the team had potential, and perhaps we would’ve punched our way into the top three if it weren’t for the quarrels within the team. The squad was disbanding before our eyes; I don’t even remember why. I didn’t quarrel with anyone; no one quarreled with me. However, the others found grounds to blame one another. The team was dissolved right in the middle of the league. It would seem that this was it. Another silly loss, a failure, a bunch of self-criticism, and hatred for the world. But I still love that league, and you'll find out why. The plus was that I had already learned to ask for parental leave for games. This was of paramount importance for creating my own squad. The organizers weren’t against it if more teams showed up during the league. If in the championship we paid an entry fee and played until we were knocked out, then in the league we had to pay for each game, although at a discount. It was profitable for the organizers to let new teams into the league. I don’t remember why, but a classmate became captain, instead of me, the guy I mentioned in the story. But at least I came up with the name, and by happy chance, it fully justified itself. We called ourselves Five Butchers; for the rest, just FB. You can’t even imagine how proud I am of that team now, how proud I am of myself and everyone who played under our symbol. I stepped out of topic to address why we proved ourselves as butchers. At that time, we didn’t kill with a knife. It was believed that using it was pointless and it was never applied. When entering an enemy’s area from behind, no one dared to risk playing with a knife but simply shot down the uninvited guest. We gave Counter-Strike a new angle; the only thing we excelled at was pushing the opponent with a knife. Over time, everyone knew about us, and more often than not, if the enemy was alone, they guessed what we planned to do and stick him on the spear. Some just leaned against some corner and waited for the butchers to catch up from behind. And the majority just rushed across the map in fear that we were nearby. Those panic-stricken guys were our delicious prey. By the time it became popular to use knives, there was a story that it was shameful to die by knife. This is why we were noticed very quickly. In Counter-Strike, a lot could be considered art, and so it is, but personally, for me, an art was the ability to use a knife and AWP. When I talked about the first championship when we were Cockroaches, I mentioned a little fellow who attempted to disrespect us after we lost. When we established FB, he became our favorite victim. It was a joy to dissect him. Over time, he completely stopped playing against us because he didn’t like being constantly sliced. So, our team also consisted of us, Misha and some other guys our age from another school. We quite often played against each other outside of competitions, and these guys showed themselves to be worthy opponents. We respected them, they respected us, and that’s why we invited them to our team. The biggest streak was that we had nothing to lose. We already were not catching up to gain enough points to enter the top three. That’s why we played recklessly. No nerves during the game. We weren’t playing for victory but for ourselves. This was yet another lesson taught to me through computer games. And I probably wouldn’t have achieved some heights in the future if it weren’t for that lesson. When you play for yourself, you’re, as they say, in your zone. You are calm, joyful, confident in yourself and in your team, and that is precisely what is required to do what you love. We played so relaxed that we would sometimes allow ourselves to tease the opponents with various screams in the hall. Naturally, during the game, otherwise, what’s the point of those jokes? Sometimes one of us was disqualified for such behavior, but there were instances where even with three or four of us, we finished the game in our favor.

Of course, we weren’t invincible. Even while we tore most participants apart, there were teams that you couldn’t say a bad word about. For example, the team of club employees, along with another team of kids much older than us, was somewhat intimidating to joke or tease them. I’ll never forget the team (also leaders) that included admin’s friends. They became our main opponents. They were called LeXs (LeX) Most of them are now my friends or good acquaintances, but back then we hated them with a passion. They always behaved provocatively and tried to demonstrate to everyone their sense of superiority and mastery. They actually played well; sometimes we won them, sometimes they won us. We grew to hate them more and more. There was even an instance when the admin (the same Dmitry Gromza) overseeing the match disallowed us a point after restarting the map for technical reasons. If he had given that point to us, the LeXs wouldn’t have claimed the third place. We wouldn’t have claimed either, and we didn’t want to. Our objective was to spoil the league for LeXs and we indeed did! After all, ten people and the admin knew that the point was denied us solely for LeXs to take third place. We had no thoughts of complaining to management and demanding to replay the fateful match. The important part was we knew it - we handled them! And who would respect the team of losers? For us, by the end of the league, reputation was of great importance which we constructed solely in a month.

After the league, everyone began to treat us admins well, and many other players too. This was precisely what we wanted. We earned our due – we began to be taken into consideration.

The club continued to live its life, and we tried to keep pace with it. We never forgot about CS, but at the same time started discovering new genres and games. This is how I met Diablo 2; we still have not met the first part, but we’re eagerly waiting for the third.

Quite a bit of time went into network battles in Red Alert 2…

…and Warcraft 3.

My solo games remained shooters: Call of Duty, Medal of Honor, and several other less significant ones.

A year passed; there were no rumors about competitions in our beloved discipline, I needed to wrap up my 9th grade from high school and decide what I would do next. During this time, I encountered a girl whom I still love and I am bound to love forever. I also started severing relations with my parents. Probably, I was going through adolescence and I, if not considerably, changed. Time, as always, was unstoppable. With one eye, I observed the championships from Quake 3, the league of Heroes 3. By circumstance, I remained in school; I became a high school student. And, as you know, this is the time for great ease …

I won’t ramble on about 11th grade, but in 10th grade, I could afford anything I wanted. I quickly ramped up the truancy, nearing the record in my school, all because I got sick. That sweet illness became chronic for me. Its name? – Quake-Quake.

I started with Quake 3 Arena and very soon discovered the OSP mod designed for a more balanced game. Why didn’t I see Q3 as interesting before? The answer is plain. Some of my buddies tried to play Q3, but while I played CS, I laughed at their choice, as in Quake it was not fun. The performance level of my buddies didn’t even meet that of a hard bot. The difficulty level, by the way, has a very beautiful name - Nightmare; more beautiful pronunciation than meaning. Even when there was the first tournament for Quake, I paid no attention to it. There weren’t any good players, and the game did not attract the proper attention. Alexey [Z]King would often express his surprise at the local Quake players’ cluelessness. Of course, jokingly, but internally he was probably hoping that in our town there would be people capable of posing a serious challenge for him. And he wasn’t wrong to hope…

One day I saw my old rival from Counter-Strike playing Quake. Naturally, I took notice, but at that moment thought it was just a fleeting interest for him. I continued playing Counter-Strikes while he didn’t deny himself this new passion. The more I saw he played Q3, the more I felt that I was missing out on something. Suddenly, I understood all too well. One day, while I was hanging in the club, I caught sight of a true spectacle. The whole club was watching only two players. King vs KVAGA on the map tourney4. KVAGA is the very acquaintance who practically abandoned Counter-Strike for Quake. Now Misha and I are good friends, but back then we were fierce rivals. Of course, Misha lost with a decent score, but he started getting frags from the local Star. Alexey played very skillfully and watching their match was so enjoyable that I quietly began to dive into Quake myself.

Those were bots, either against randomly generated opponents. It seemed mundane and joyless, but with each match I fell deeper and deeper in love. I began studying console commands, gradually creating configs. And in the end, I kept playing Quake. It began to mutate in my consciousness; the ordinary game transformed into something more with every single minute spent on it. The artificial intelligence began to seem boring and monotonous as an opponent. The pool of competitors thinned out, yet I lacked the skills to stand against the local stars. It seemed that my progress would stall, until I recalled an old chess truth. "If you want to learn to play – play with the stronger." At that point, I had already learned how to lose and I mentioned it earlier. I had no choice but to challenge the local elite. While I was gaining skills, several more Quake players were also rising. The veteran players began to play much better. Alexey King raised a generation of Quakers on his shoulders. And I even remembered seeing him lose a couple of times to some of them. All this unfolded right before our eyes, and I saw firsthand how those who had once been incapable even of moving started posing a serious challenge to those who managed to leave their opponents in negative scores within fifteen minutes of gameplay. I fully understood the essence of the game, and realized that nothing was impossible. The main thing was to follow through on your goals. Up till then, I had no living examples of such intriguing victories, and I never knew that you could overcome any mountain. That’s what Quake had a positive influence on me almost immediately after our acquaintance. Meanwhile, I started challenging the elite Quakers of our town. Most often, I would play with Misha, who still conceals himself under the nickname KVAGA. Misha played with me to a certain extent. He wasn’t very enthused about tearing me into shreds, but it was much more pleasurable than playing long evenings against bots. And I needed only that. More often I could kill him; if my first matches ended with a 40-point difference, after a few more months I reduced the gap to 10. The more I improved, the more interesting it became for Misha to play against me, and in the meantime, I integrated into the Quake community. I tried to befriend many of them, but they did not respond positively at all. However, Lesha King would joke about it, suggesting that Redkin (that’s me) would soon start tearing you guys apart. At the same time, hinting that I would succeed, and that the others should not relax if they want to go far.

Each corner of the most popular duel maps was already familiar to me, like some well-known place. I could navigate through the map with my eyes practically closed, just like going to the kitchen at night. And, probably, I was finally glued to Quake when I watched the first movie. You know, only the most striking and stunning moments of the game arrive in these movies. And at that time we didn’t play over the internet, and we hadn’t seen how others played. And here was such beauty for about five minutes. We strove to play no less excellently than the guys in the videos.

I never set myself outrageous goals. I didn’t aim to win the title of world champion. I didn’t attempt to become any kind of legend. I just wanted to play a little better than those who had ever beaten me. And there were many of them, but I quickly shrank the number. The main problem of rising cyber-athletes is that they do not know how to lose and abandon their plans if they don’t succeed in a short amount of time. It’s a pity that there are few players with strong spirits who are ready to strive to correct their mistakes and learn something new. The game became increasingly dynamic. I played Quake at every available opportunity. If I traveled for some reason to another city, I would always find the time to search for a local club and play there, enjoying my beloved game. I never refused to play if someone not local showed up and challenged me.

That’s how I once met a strong opponent from the city of Kaduy playing under the nickname KOK.Matrix. This Matrix, how timely he appeared in my life. When, in my hometown, five gamers had already killed all the others, it became dull for us. By that time, I was already in the group of five. And one fine day he appeared and prompted us all. No one could beat him. And once he returned to his hometown, all of a sudden, things began to get lively here. Quake, it seemed, was reborn. Personally, I felt like I had a new obstacle to overcome, which I had to conquer at all costs. Watching the rest, I saw that they sensed something similar.

Once again, I would like to thank the club director Alexey. He noticed the excitement around Quake 3 and just organized another championship. I didn’t think at lessons nearly as much as I thought when playing Q3. We tried to anticipate almost everything. Every move, each step. Every second. After all, sometimes a single second can determine whether you are the winner or the loser. I aimed for third place in the tournament, and I exerted myself completely to achieve it. I didn’t think I would win, but I certainly didn’t assure myself that it wasn’t feasible. Practice showed that everything is doable. Besides, my colorless performance caused no excitement; even if I lost, I wouldn’t cry. I just wanted to get ahead in a duel when fighting against someone strong, but to try and prove within my soul that I was the best. As with every local tournament, I took a beginner’s approach, meaning I didn’t know what to expect. My nerves flooded away, and I just wanted to demonstrate what I could do, being excited yet tense. I will recount my feelings from that day.

Naturally, we had plenty of teams and competitors at that time, and I encountered many whose confrontations seemed straightforward, yet at times could prove quite the opposite. I had only experienced victory for quite a long duration, and had come to expect complacent victories without forthcoming losses. That led to growing concerns about the upcoming challenges versus opponents who had been plying their craft for years. Alongside them, I was a newcomer, and it would be natural for them to take advantage of my lack of experience.

All of the moments through that tournament were nerve-wracking, and they fostered the wish for me to heighten the excitement within my mind. I pushed myself overtly to engage the masses’ appreciation while simultaneously concentrating on fortifying my stance and craft. My time had come! Standing behind the threshold waiting for the signal to break through was torturous enough, especially with a pit in my stomach. A quick scan of the surrounding area told me my competitors were brimming with unwarranted self-confidence and, ironically, that increased my motivation. Incredibly, anxiety crossed my mind, is my chance dwindling as they effortlessly attacked at will? I’m not dominant this time?

But that moment transpired before the clock had struck, and we were good to go! As we pounced on our opponents, I became engrossed with the task at hand; precision gearing of analytical responses coalesced with the performance of my move into anxious breakthroughs. An anecdotic undertone surfaced as some players slipped while attempting intricate maneuvers, while others effortlessly executed swift tactics! I pieced together reflective flashes of past tangential moments, each affected by a knee-jerk response in sync with growing seriousness.

Then, suddenly giving way to habit, the first match began as my earliest “trial by fire” was at hand! I needed to pace myself against the opposition, leveraging hope as my guide. I vowed upon reaching and believed it would come to be because that night promised palpable excitement, and amongst these thrills, I obstinately devised a strategy upholding victory as my calling card. And to pleasure my inner pro, when moments were going astray, I unceremoniously dished out snacks, energy-boosting points, and I didn’t look back! Strangely enough, halfway through the contest, the feeling of losing suddenly transformed into sheer resolve to reciprocate in kind! Triumphantly, as ink dried and words echoed with enigma, stories unfolded of heroes, triumph, and vibrancy spread through the club!

Long stories live! Each determined victory became a beacon for highlighting my arduous stray from failure towards skilled gameplay. I confronted different levels of engagement, time, and space, creating commonality throughout! Enveloping those who paralleled such an adventure ultimately reinvented the purpose of gaming as an art form.

The tournament rapidly evolved into what truly was forged through creativity and collaboration, as disks sang in anticipation of explodable showdowns ahead. Triumph set forth to the finale as voices shrouded anticipation swiftly recounted tales only birthed anew!

And so the orchestra performed, announcing the divination of the brackets, and once secured, the stage of the combat matured with vigor. My teammates and I fortified ourselves into manifesting our enduring spirit. As fate intertwined, we bound into alliance, crafting bonds beyond the mere pixelated realm. With sparks igniting above us like the stars diverging across tunnels of light! Plunging forth, flooding our memory with reassured noxious attire. Superceding anyone underestimated behind me, never living down to self-induced standards.

Ultimately we drew ourselves into a crescendo: I with teammates in tune with the environment—and out of step with opposition. Each tremor in the arena echoed our promises as memories evaporated from minds spellbound onto gaming glory! Here and now, I began translating our chaos to perspective through multifaceted tapestry forms, illuminating every strand in every battlefield encountered on the way to control. We fought one last EPIC battle, wherein the sky was fraught with the influence behind it! Battles culminated as conflicts oscillated through dizzying reconnoiters combined as we powered forward, finally transforming moments dancing in glory toward the gift of victory!

Each of us had contributed, every game with its strength, and thus arose our immortal legacy forged through joy of the community together molding how we remembered both history and the future anew! Level upon level shifting in time with effects desiring to synergize beyond limits granted by pixels turned out to be the ultimate fight—an ability to challenge even fate itself!

More legends yet abound throughout evolving into a life akin to dreams stitched around the strength of crafting gaming friendships through stories! Such rise of vibrant legacy amidst archer hearts crafting our skills in the world. I share and breathe. Ours is the adventure yet to unfold.

As once before, so it shall be again that this camaraderie stems, augmented as digital lands breathe beneath each glance of key taps forging history upon this scroll!

And as this tale unravels, forever grows wild and fruitful, cementing in memories carved with laughter where we danced together across vibrant realms from past to eternal instance. - The mighty Gamer path forged in our lives! Thank you for trailing alongside as we forge ahead into the adventures anew! May this community skyward tend to thrive, though opportunities evolve further still, let them hold true across dynamics reaching far beyond seams tracing choice!

Let us rejoice our cherished trophy—the dream that is ours—in every dive into pixels alive with potential! Together we can ascend higher!

For all who relish in gaming hearts & minds beneath the banner of passion, this awaits… the ocean that dances toward continuation stirs anew!

• 15 November, Modern Warfare 2 has already been beaten almost three times, and the licensed disc is still on its way. It’s more than likely that it will arrive tomorrow, and then I'll be sick again, just like the first time. I’ll ignore all other games until the new COD begins to tire me.

I am eagerly worried about the IWnet servers: after all, I live in the North, and I’d really love to fight in the long-awaited game with a proper ping. Considering that multiplayer in the new COD is expected to be even more interesting than in previous installments, I think I’ll be sick with this game for quite a while.

And now, with the hip-hop tones of nostalgia drifting through me, I realize that my story is drawing to a close. I once again become satisfied that certain things are not so easily forgotten. I realize that I have taken up a path unique to me, intricate and incredibly captivating. I know I made the right choice at that fateful fork. My path was once a trail, now it serves as a highway I move along together with you. Good luck, Gamers. We are many, and the games are one!