"The Perfect Shame". Game Review

In case anyone has forgotten, "The Saboteur" was heavily promoted by EA. The publishers showed that they were investing money in the project, and that the game would be decent or at least quite expensive. Plus, we were immediately promised several interesting features, among which was a game with colors. To be frank, I was waiting for one of the best action games of the year. I don't know why, I just was. It seemed to me something special, unconventional. And just recently, I launched it, played it, and now I'm ready to share my impressions.

After an hour of gameplay, the first suspicions arose. After another two—I was almost certain. And now—I am completely convinced. "The Saboteur" is trying its best to resemble everyone's beloved "Mafia". Firstly, the gameplay is strikingly similar. Before us is a free city where we are free to do whatever we want, but all our main activities are in the missions. Moreover, they are constructed like in "Mafia": a multitude of long cutscenes, character developments, intrigues. There are even flashbacks. Secondly, "The Saboteur" pays a lot of attention to cars and music. Remember how we drove under jazz in cute cars that reached 40 km/h in the USA? Now you'll be waiting for almost the same, only in France. With a slight difference that tanks can roam the city here and at every corner, there are Nazis instead of just ordinary cops. Thirdly, the overall impression and small details constantly make us recognize one of the best games in the industry. Both hand-to-hand combat, shooting, certain missions, narrative delivery, and visuals. Even the protagonist's profession is related to cars...

If you remember, "Mafia" was renowned for its incredible attention to detail. Even just delivering people by taxi was something special. In GTA, the driving mechanics still leaves much to be desired. Let alone, the graphics are almost photorealistic now.

Don't think that I would dare to mock "The Saboteur" for copying. I'm just glad to see inspirers. Especially those that possess their own styles and features. And our hero for today boasts one interesting feature—its color palette.

The developers decided to show how fascism destroyed all living things. And they wanted to show it in colors. And this is not a metaphor: three thousand liters of blood will not spill on the screen, and we won't see Germans shoving people into stoves. In colors—that is, thanks to colors. This is done in such a way that in those parts of the city where there are many Nazis, where we still haven't tried to free the people—everything is black and white, that is, gray and gloomy. Boring landscapes, lonely people, fascists... Whereas where we've already had fun and let loose—the color returns to the streets. This is why we see a beautiful sky with a yellow sun, blooming trees, cheerful people—a magnificent, unforgettable France. The city truly looks great, both technically—without graphical flaws—and artistically and design-wise.

"The Saboteur" has something to counter the style of "Mafia" and not become a soulless clone, it has...

Real America, not a toy.

Now I will ask what made "Mafia" famous, besides atmosphere and style. Was there an interesting storyline? Yes, certainly. I cannot call it banal or simple. FGM was almost absent there as well. What else? Bright characters? Absolutely. Even the mechanic and the armorer—completely secondary characters—are remembered, I think, by everyone. But the most important thing in "Mafia" is the detailed elaboration, forgive my tautology, of the details. All cars feel real, the damage system—outperforms any GTA. Recklessness was severely punished; you could always run into a cop. No one let chaos reign in the city, retribution came easily. Shooting felt both complex and impressive, missions didn't resemble James Bond's shootouts. And even though we wiped out enemies in bunches, there was still no feeling that we were Superman in an Italian suit. All this allowed us to believe in the game, to take it seriously, to feel like a gangster, and not just complete missions. I often compare "Mafia" with GTA and always point out that the former is a more serious and atmospheric project.

About phimosis and its consequences.

In general, any imitator, in order to try to replicate the success of a great game, must adopt its key features. Otherwise, it will go nowhere. Do we love "Mafia" for its details? Then there should be an equally delicate treatment of them in "The Saboteur".

But you know, when you blow up a fuel storage, kill about 50 Nazis, and then within 20 seconds hide from the chase, returning to the place of sabotage and... no one cares—it’s strange. When Germans climb on the hero in the first mission... for a fistfight—it’s astonishing. When you, the local savior of the world, freedom fighter, friend to all the suffering and oppressed, drive on the sidewalk, run over pedestrians, and no one says anything to you—it’s absurd. You can't describe it any other way.

I am amazed, everything works against the game. Features, interests, flaws, and ordinariness. Wherever you spit, you’ll hit a mess. Examples? I have some.

Let’s take the storyline. Yes, it is presented like in "Mafia", but the foolishness in the cutscenes is just off the charts. To begin with, the developers have a fondness for breasts and asses, and therefore those very breasts and asses are everywhere. A fierce, glamorous fascist, an English spy, the sister of the protagonist's friend, just a bunch of girls everywhere. For instance, we start in a cabaret where breasts shine from every corner. In a serious game about World War II, this looks incredibly out of place and extremely cheap—again, we are being sold by brutish methods.

Screenshot in the style of "The Saboteur"

I recount an event from the game. In a bar, the hero along with his companions beats up Nazis, and not just regular soldiers, but very important and serious ones—officers. We run out, and right at the entrance, we're caught by about twenty Germans. They come out of cars, point their submachine guns, demand us to raise our hands and follow them—or die (even though they will obviously kill us anyway). And then a big-breasted blonde on a racing car drives up and starts... talking to the heroes for about 7 minutes. After which we hop into her sports car, chat for another few minutes, and then escape from the enemies.

Attention question: WHAT were the Nazis doing all that time? Why didn't they just shoot us to pieces, why didn’t they freak out at the audacity and turn the heroes over to the Gestapo? What was the writer thinking?!

Jules seems to hint that the love scene is out of place here

And it goes on like this throughout the game. Full of clichés and banalities. By the way, I recently criticized Modern Warfare 2 for being clichéd—I want to take my words back. In "The Saboteur", it’s a real nightmare; everything is so recognizable and unoriginal.

An idea or mere foolishness?

Now about the style, which I praised at the beginning. The idea is good—no arguing that. Color means life. Grayness means death, which the fascists bring. Where there is color—there’s goodness. Where it’s absent—there’s evil. And yet, attention question (Alexandr Druzh is not tired yet?): why does the fascist swastika burn bright red, why do the main villain's eyes glow blue, why isn’t the blood black and white, and why in the den of Nazis, in the cabaret where they entertain themselves with naked fraulein—is everything bright and festive?

The developers came up with a good idea, but just trampled it under their stupidity. I do not dispute, it looks good when the swastika stands out. Everything gray, it’s red. Harmonious. But, dear sirs, due to this, the essence of all your endeavors goes to hell. And it even seems that the fascists are the kindest ones here—they alone have colors...

Now, let me fully critique the gameplay. Look at the pictures, do you see what the hero is doing? Yes, he climbs on houses. On absolutely all houses in France. There’s no structure, no place he can’t access. I’m currently playing the first Assassin’s Creed, and let me tell you, Altair differs from the local resistance hero only in one way—he can perform a leap of faith. However, maybe he was just lucky with the time; in his era, there were carts with hay, which I couldn’t find in France. Maybe I would have also watched as “pigeons indicated my path.”

No, seriously, it’s just impossible absurdity when the hero climbs every wall, jumps over anything and moves across rooftops. Moreover, our protégé isn’t Spider-Man, not Captain America (and even not Captain Obvious!). He’s a mechanic, damn it, he fixes cars...

But in addition to the strange hero, there are also the Nazis... quite idiosyncratic. In the first mission, the leader of the resistance tells us about the Germans: "Nazis are trained to go where it was noisy." Trained... like trained cats. So if you shoot from somewhere, the trained Germans come and will just stand around looking for five minutes.

Oh, the chases here! We blow up a warehouse, kill a dozen enemies, curse Hitler's mother, and during the chase, we run over solitary standing Nazi sentinels, but as soon as we step beyond the boundary of the red circle of pursuit for even a second, everyone immediately forgets about us. We return to the explosion site, stroll around there, smoke—no one remembers anything. Apparently, the German soldier isn't trained to remember faces, clothing, complexion, cars, and their licenses.

And the hero can hit cows

*Until it breaks*

And, by the way, if we just walk up and shoot three Nazis who are stationed at a post, and then quickly run away—they won’t even look for us. Well, so what? We killed someone; it's war, people die in thousands on the front lines.

Also, I found a tank, and like in the first part of GTA, I destroyed the city. The alarm system is even the same here. First, we get attacked by foot soldiers and motorcyclists, then cars with machine gunners show up, then special forces come, and finally, we're met by armored vehicles. In short, in a serious game about war and Germans, I nearly freed France with a tank...

That’s how I liberate France...

The final nail

You know, I want to clarify—does this game feature the very Germans who conquered all of Europe in just a few months? Are these the fascists who killed millions of people and cruelly dealt with all their enemies? Apparently, the developers aren’t entirely aware. Here, the Nazis were rushing at me with bare fists when I was already walking around with a rifle. I laughed to tears...

Want to hear more curiosities? Well, besides the fact that the Germans can be easily killed and crushed on the streets (and nothing will happen to the hero for it), they are also very apathetic. For example, I'm driving on the sidewalk, running over people—and the guard doesn’t care... Or, before his eyes, I throw three drivers out of their cars and then run them over—also nothing, just a thought.

This all seems very strange because we are the protagonists; we save people, while the game forces us to steal vehicles (and it happens just like in GTA—the animation is practically stolen from there).

And again, no attention to details. One of the first missions. The hero's close friend is in the passenger seat, we are next to a truck. I need to drive. How do we do it? We throw our buddy out of the car as if he were an enemy and climb over his seat. It's a trivial detail, but it's a disgusting one.

Or another instance. Our accomplice runs up, gasping for breath, almost dying. He shouts: "Bullet in the belly, I'm dying, bullet in the belly!" But we look at him, and not only is there no hole in his sweater, but even blood isn’t flowing. And he’s bending over, whimpering... What a dramatist!

And one more detail that somehow confuses me. First of all, the hero can disguise himself as a fascist, and when the enemies shoot at him. The screen goes black, then lights up again, and for a second, the enemies seem to lose sight of us, and then they start shooting again. Secondly, when the Nazis discover that we are just a disguised spy... the clothes drop off. Just like that, they disappear. Just a second ago, we looked like a rank-and-file member of the Wehrmacht, and then poof—we are back in our everyday attire. Come up with a nice epithet for this and leave it in the comments. The winner will receive a blast from the plus gun across all posts...

Yes, I admit, I did not finish "The Saboteur". At some point, I realized I just couldn’t watch this absurdity any longer. Nothing in the game holds you back. You get tired of missions where you have to constantly climb walls like a superhero, the plot is foolish, resembling an action flick for 13-year-olds who have never had sex. And the depth of character for all the characters is measured with a one-centimeter ruler, if such even exist.

I swear, gentlemen. There’s Assassin’s Creed and there’s "Death to Spies. Play one first, then the other. And never mix them into a cocktail called "The Saboteur". The taste is terrible...

Well, today’s brief overview is very simple:


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